ALSO

I'm coming to terms with the fact that, about two months ago when I got my very first bladder infection, I learned for the first time where my urethra empties itself. Now, I find this particularly disturbing because I previously thought I was well-aware of which designated holes did what and where they were located. Slightly more unsettling is the memory of my freshman year Human Health and Sexuality class in high school in which I specifically remember my teacher telling me that "the urethra is here", while pointing to a diagram the clitoris or something close to it. However I am not surprised since this was the teacher that would frequently write his own multiple-choice tests and accidentally leave out the correct answer on a majority of the questions. He also spent time massaging the shoulders of the girls in class, which I guess was his cute way of flirting since he obviously has no idea how female genitalia is structured. Aw, I'm being mean. He's actually a really great guy, honest.

But still. I don't know how I spent twenty years on this planet not knowing where I pee out of.

$40 Day

I just found out today that the book I'm illustrating will have an initial printing of 10,000. Jeez oh man! Thassalottabooks.

So here I am, feeling slightly crappy and tired, debating whether to order these delicious looking cranberry candies I saw on this $40 Day show on the Food Network. The things look tasty. I think I'm just in the mood to buy something on the internets but I can't think of anything to get.

Except for a wallet that looks like it was made out of bacon.

So it's either candies or bacon wallet.

My room

feels like the goddamn devil's sauna. I don't know what happened but today it is horrendously hot and when I climb the staircase I can actually feel my pores preparing to gush sweat as the heat intensifies. On the bright side, it's almost five and it should be cooling down soon.

Wow, did I have a birthday. A marvelous one! I think a record amount of people remembered (thanks, Myspace!) and I got a few tremedously awesome gifts, including two luscious DVD box sets (thanks Mike), one ominous Darth Vader print by artist John Loter (thanks Charles), several signed birthday cards and a reserve for Harvest Moon DS (thanks again, Charles), a gorgeous necklace (thanks Mum), a wireless Guitar Hero controller customized with Venture Bros stickers (thanks Dave), and a Monarch henchman customized My Little Pony (thank you Mollie) which I shall post pictures of sometime soon. Also, add one midnight showing of Snakes on a Plane (thank you Sam Jackson, for being you).

Anyway. Just had to say it's hotter than hell in my room and I'm not going to take it anymore.

I've Been Shot!

I would like everyone to know that I lead a glamorous lifestyle. Glamorous enough to have paparazzi-style photographs taken of me whenever I enter the public. Observe:





Actually, I was spotted by a group of Dave's coworkers while having lunch with Charles. I like how this happens right as I'm thinking to myself, "Dave and I should come here for lunch sometime. I think he gets a long lunch break." Also, while shoveling noodles into my my mouth uncouthly, I thought, "Boy, it's a good thing no one is watching me eat this way".

So much for that.

All I know is that from now on, I'm looking over my shoulder whenever I'm in Irvine or any surrounding area.

ATTENTION

HELLO WORLD. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE IS UTTERLY AMAZING.

And you know what, World? You're amazing. Seriously. Give yourself a round of applause. You deserve it.

Ugghhh

Today is one of those days where, from the moment you wake up, it sucks. Not in any exceedingly prominent way, but in a very dull, depressing way. For starters, it's been terribly gloomy out all day. Dark and gloomy. I spent my entire day in my room watching cartoons after a fitful night of sleep and a series of bizarre dreams. No one called me and I haven't eaten much in two days due to being busy and stressed. Actually, I lied. I ate something a half hour ago but since my stomach isn't used to eating anything except for english muffins and guacamole over a forty-eight hour period, it's hurting somethin' fierce. After all this, throw in a ton of worry over someone I care about deeply into the mix, and you've got a great recipe for feeling awful.


Also the one dream I feel I can share was one where I was on the Sailing Ship Columbia (the pirate-esque ship at Disneyland) on the sea with the crew from Pirates of the Caribbean. As part of a big spectacle set up for the 50th Anniversary, the ship flew out of the water, leaving a trail of pixie dust behind (for anyone who has even been on the Peter Pan ride, think of the way the ship looks flying over Mermaid Lagoon towards the end of the ride). So the ship zooms forward and it's just me and Jack Sparrow on it, although I'm dressed up like Elizabeth Swann (score). The ship heads towards Disneyland, taking these huge playful dives and twirls down Main Street, freaking the crap out of the Disney guests below. The ship heads for the Rivers of America and plunges into the water, right in front of a screen set-up for the premiere of the Pirates movie. I remember thinking, "I wonder if I can pass for a convincing Keira Knightley with short hair". Meanwhile for some reason Jack and I are tied up over the water for no real reason. The audience is "ooing" and "aahing" at the spectacle, when suddenly, GIANT TENTACLES reach out from the river and towards the guests. The Kraken! Everyone screams and runs. When it is silent again, a producer pops out of nowhere, yells "That's a wrap!" and gets us down while revealing the clever new Kraken special effect they set up.

That was a weird one. The strange thing was it was all so convincing. Even the Kraken effect didn't look super real, but real enough to be something Disney Imagineers could accomplish.

Boy, this entry sure was one big happy sunshiney pick-me-up, wasn't it? Sorry everyone.

Mmm... Lemon squares

I had a dream the other night that I was the Flash and I had to save the rest of the Justice League from evil, and then I was myself again and I went into the kitchen and I baked lemon squares with Dr. Girlfriend.

... I think I'm experiencing some heavy subconscious Comic Con withdrawl.

Good Morning

So today I wake up, and the first thing I see is that iTunes is selling Cartoon Network and Adult Swim shows, including the new season of Venture Bros.

This is a good morning!

LANCE BASS: GAY!?!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh please who didn't know this like ten years ago.

Mode7

Fanart from Gabe Swarr's "Mode7" (Click the title). I became aware of this comic after attending a panel at the Comic Con, where Mr. Swarr and Jon Gibson were talking about their pilot in development. Well, I instantly fell in love with the characters and the designs and I'm really looking forward to the potential of the whole thing becoming a show.

The comic's style is really loose and fun, reminding me that sometimes as an artist I take myself too goddamn seriously and I need to learn how to lighten up and have more fun when I draw, instead of staring at a blank page and going, "Okay, what I'm going to put down has to be really awesome looking because if it isn't really awesome it can't go into the portfolio and I'll never get a job and oh man I'll hate myself if it doesn't look totally amazing" I've been in a real dry period with my art and I feel like there is a creative simmer going on in my mind, and it's only a matter of time before I reach a boiling point and really start to get creative. Feeling paralyzed for no real reason when it comes to your craft is extremely frustrating. It's tough to explain but I feel like I should say something because I've been this way for a few years now.

ANYWAY.

Comic Con was ridiculous this year. I met Maxwell Atoms (Billy and Mandy creator), Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick, a Ren & Stimpy co-creator, and... probably some other people but I forget. Also, I saw Lewis Black and he looked me straight in the eye. Hooray! Con aside, the Lewis Black thing would have made my month either way so it was just like a bonus bag on top of all the other cool stuff that was going on. Ate at Dick's Last Resort, took a train, and finally became a member of ASIFA. The Adult Swim panel was beyond unreal. The Moral Orel guys were drunk off their gourd and heckling absolutely everyone. Fantastic stuff, and I'm only sad that it's over for an entire year.

Also, Brandon flew out and we went to Disney.

Ow. Ow ow. I feel like something is stabbing me in the eyeball.

I think I should also mention that last night I witnessed the rowdiest game of miniature golf I've ever seen. Much happened and maybe I'll illustrate it sometime, but there was this brief exchange:

Nick: (singing) Tickle my crotch and call me Larry!
Jeff: No, I'm good.

That's all for now.

Life Requirement #1

Please click the title of this post and watch that pilot. It just might tickle your fancy, if your fancy desires to be tickled.

Okay, stop.

Hello, everyone? Jessica Simpson is not that hot. Really. I'm not saying she ISN'T hot, but she isn't as hot as you think she is. She looks like she got hit in the face by a crowbar. Her mouth is screwed up. Seriously, guys, find a classier lady to be obsessed with. It's getting depressing.

Meanwhile, life is crazy. I find myself blossoming into the career I have desired my entire life and it hasn't quite hit me yet. Maybe that's because I have no money. Once I have a few pesos... maybe it will become clear that I am livin' the dream.


Sorry about not keeping up on American Idol. This has been pointed out to me many times. "Erin, you did not keep up with American Idol in your blog". Well, shut it. Here's something; I WENT to American Idol. That's right. For Country Week. It was amazing. An experience like that can't be described in text. I sat in the front row. My Mum was on TV. You might've seen her and you never even knew. I mean, how awesome is that?

Speaking of awesome... VENTURE BROTHERS SEASON 2. It is beyond crazy because I think over the past few years I conditioned myself to just believing that there wasn't going to be any more episodes. Everything I love (animation-wise) gets brutally slain in a fit of executive decision and audience naieveté. Seeing the Venture family and The Monarch back in action is like I died and went to heaven. I'm still pinching myself... and that doesn't even begin to describe how much better my life is just because there is a season two.

Why, America? Why?

Why did you vote Ayla off? She was good and Melissa is a harlot and you know it.

This week Ace melted my face off. Hoorah!

American Idol - Girls' Night Out

Since I am a proud American and I am a sucker for a curmudgeonly British man in a black sweater, I've been avidly watching American Idol this season.

And whether you like it or not, I'm going to try to blog my thoughts every night the show is on. Yow!

It's time to vote, which is my favorite thing ever. Here's the rundown on tonight's show:

Mandisa, Lisa, and Katharine, you guys are prime choice. Can't wait to see you next week!

Paris, marry me. I want to be your soulmate and I love you to death and beyond.

Everyone else, you're either hot and you suck or you're not hot at all and you just plain suck. Booh!

I can't want to see the light of my life (Ace Young) perform tomorrow. Oh god, I just discovered americanidolstore.com. There goes my money!

I feel like I'm going to hurl up an entire can of split pea soup.

Morning Schedule

Some of Cartoon Network's children's programming during the day:

• Little Robots
• Krypto the Superdog
• Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs

Does anyone else see how awesome this is?

Quality Time, suckas

Mike = My Brother
Erin = Me
Taylor = My sister

Mike: I can just see the ad campaign for "Bawls" now... like a dad walks into your room, and says 'Son, are you playing with you Bawls?'"
Erin: Yeah, and then the bottle has like, a little skirt on it. Like he's playing.
Taylor: A skirt?!
Erin: Well, yeah.
M: Another questionable bottle design. Why the bumps?
E: Oh, I know.
M: But it's nothing compared to those Umberto Giannini hair products that look like huge dildos.
E: Really? *click click google*
**The aforementioned hair product does indeed look like a dirty pleasure toy**
E: Oh, wow.
M: Yeah, they look like little vibrators, but they're like, huge! Like this big *Puts a three-foot gap between hands to show height*
E: Well, good!
M: ....
T: ....
E: ....
M: ... that was the best possible answer to that.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

People's Choice Awards

America, what is wrong with you?

Your favorite three movies, from an ENTIRE YEAR, and the only ones you can boil it down to are Batman Begins, Hitch, and Star Wars III!?

Maybe I don't want to know what the people's choice was for anything. I never asked for any of this. I never ever asked or wanted to know if anyone saw Hitch, or if Green Day is the best band all year. No.

ErinZ (10:45:30 AM): the people's choice awards are clearly for retards only.
Brando (10:45:37 AM): (laughs)
ErinZ (10:45:48 AM): i think that must have been a requirement. to vote, you need to be deemed mentally unfit by the state.
Brando (10:45:53 AM): The Retarded People's Choice Awards?

* * *

Brando (10:49:00 AM): Who *won*?
ErinZ (10:49:04 AM): Star Wars.
Brando (10:49:09 AM): PFFT.
Brando (10:51:07 AM): Dat one wins a'cause it had da' most commercials.
Brando (10:51:34 AM): Dey were ons my Dorito's bag and everyt'ing.

Way to go, democracy.

Angel Brody

.. Touché, Tim. But actually, I really wasn't talking about covering up what I want to say, just talking about what talking could be like in general. I was really bored and kind of perturbed that night. You understand.

I just had some absolutely vivid and bizarre dreams.

One of which was Adrien Brody, WITH ANGEL WINGS. Although the angel wings were like parrot wings, but he really was an angel, from heaven and the whole shebang. He was in love with me, HOWEVER, he said although he would really LOVE to do me, he wasn't sure if it was cool with God. Because, you know, he's an angel and everything.

The other dream involved me going on some weirdo version of the Haunted Mansion Holiday, but all the animatronics (and also these stuffed animals I was clutching) were real. I was with my sister, trying to convince her of that, and she just laughed at me and called me stupid. I said, "No, there ARE real, they're alive and everything" and she still laughed. I then tried to leap over a giant pumpkin, but my sister grabbed onto my legs and it was really, really painful. I tried to punch her off me but I passed out from pain. When I woke up we were surrounded by all the living characters from Nightmare Before Christmas, including characters from Hocus Pocus, all concerned for my health. My sister apologized and the characters were all reciting lyrics from "Kidnap the Sandy Claws" and I thought to myself, "Santa Claus would shit if he saw all this"

Wouldn't it be interesting if we all just said exactly what was on our minds when it came to interacting with others? Exactly what you're thinking. No bullshit. Just let it all out. And, for convesation's sake, let's pretend that in everyday society, that's how people function. By saying shit that needs to be said.

I guess covering the truth or just flat-out making shit up is just how we work. Everyone is afraid of hurting everyone else, and on top of that everyone is afraid of making an idiot out of themselves. I suppose it all just gets to a certain point where, when almost everyone you know has been bullshitting about everything right to your face and you know it and it has been going on for months, you just get sick, tired, and pissed off. Or just frustrated.

Someone get me out of my house, I'm thinking too much.

Snickers are only good if you eat them.