sick sick sick sick siiiiick.

have spent most of the past day and a half in bed rolling about in a cushiony layer of tissues and sweaty blankets. i am fighting the evil as much as i can and i think i am slowly coming out on top. my nose feels like it is going to fall off.

lots of hullabuloo in santa barbara this morning as michael jackson is only being accused of child molestation maybe for the ten bajillionth time. who didn't see this one coming?

nothing else to say for now... need to shower

it seems that something evil is battling my immune system somethin' fierce right now. my nose is angry and i can't seem to open my eyelids fully.

initiate operation VICKS VAPORUB™ and PUFFS™ PLUS© LOTION TISSUES ™©®™

we moved about half the desk today only to discover that the whole thing really isn't going to work out. let's face it... disney animation desk is the stuff of dreams but... completely impractical in my current situation. i am saddened and i must send all my heartfelt apologies to stweve for going through all the insane trouble only to have it all end up like this. i sorry, stweve.

the car goes in to get a ding fix tomorrow. i stomp all angry around because it seems i cannot obtain any given vehicle for more than a forty-eight hour period. my baby!!!

and the mucus keeps on comin

forgot to mention very bizarre dream last night where jack black professed his undying love to me and i was swimming in an ocean alongside a cliff. however, this was all after being in a friend's bathroom naked for no apparent reason

taking a break from government notes and drawing flashcards for mexicans to write. haven't had much time in the past few days due to exciting insanity/stress/sleepies.

it all begins on friday while i'm at the game and very sleepy from walking to and from school and working all day, but i'm in a very cheery mood. in fact, cheery enough to dance my way back to school by myself at seven o'clock at night to the elf soundtrack. everyone was at the game including my new soulmate jesse. it was very cold and i ate some crappy pizza but then the phone rings. it be my parents telling me they got news for me. i was scared and confused. but next thing i know, they say...

new car.

well, you can bet that i screamed until i nearly vomited blood. the car is now about ten feet away from me and through the garage door (i am in mom's office right now). it is brand new volkswagon concept lagoon blue color only two thousand made black leather blue insert interior with blue stitching 200 watt monsoon sound system seat heat full lumbar support TURBO BEETLE. i shit my pants every time i so much as think about it. the car is the most beautiful creation by man up to date and it packs such a punch that i am afraid to look at it. it is my baby. and boy howdy, are we gonna RAGE.

so life is very good. except for the consistent flow of schoolwork and community service and soon car payments and art. tomorrow is the day the animation desk finds its new home in my pants. room. it will be difficult and i am stressed but i'm quite sure the end result will be very pleasing. this is a good year for me indeed and despite the stress of art and school and portfolios, it is senior year, i have a car, an animation desk, a guitar, and a dream.

"and" count in previous paragraph: 8

i have another dream besides the aforementioned dream and this dream i share with stweve. we have a vision of bringing the animation show to laguna beach. stweve is hooking it up with the school and the theatre he works at and i am hooking it up (or trying to, at least) with the animation show crew. hopefully they will be willing to acquiesce with our plight to bring this heaping glory of a ninety-minute show to a few more people in this world. i swear to god i'll make it happen. i'm determined, by golly. and you know, every time i've say to myself, "this is the last time i'll ever see the animation show" i end up seeing it at least one more time, completely unexpectedly... let's see if the tradition continues...

now i guess i must go clean my room because it is a hideous mess and the desk will be frowny if it is not clean

writing to once again ensure a hearty lack of slumber

today was thursday which means something was bound to go wrong. this week's installment was somebody signing on my screen name in the computer lab at school and deleting my entire buddy list. woopee!!

running out of hair straightener. afraid

got a haircut today too. at fantastic sams, which is a terrifying place with paint on the walls. while i was sitting around the place i was working on a drawing of my character reyla (for the half a person who knows, reyla is the sexy pink-haired lass avec bondage dans la pagé de artweeerkkoo) and a haircut lady stopped and started talking to me.

haircut lady: is that freehand?
me: yeah, it is.
hl: are you taking classes? i hope you are.
me: no... no classes. i'm self-taught.
hl: well, i hope you're planning on doing something with that.
me: yeah, i am.
hl: do you want to illustrate children's books?
me: (glaring at the drawing with reyla in a dark goth-esque outfit and a very short skirt)... no, i'm getting into animation and comic books.
hl: oooh!! done in freehand like that?
me: yes...
hl: now is that yours, have you made that before?
me: yes, she's an original character from a comic i've been working on for a year and a half.
hl: so is she or he yours?
me:...... yes.
hl: and you want to do this freehand?
me: yep. i want to make my own animated shorts.
hl: but... i thought they did that all with computer now! do they still do it freehand?
me: well, computer is becoming more popular, but... there are still certain animation shows and things which support traditiona--
hl: you keep that up! it's neat!
me: ....

now, okay. i know not every person on the planet can be animation savvy but that conversation was so bizarre and depressing even though i know that the woman knows nothing about animation or could even tell reyla is a woman. it's not her fault in the slightest but it's times like that where i know that no matter how hard i could try to explain the complex beauty of animation to someone, they still would have no idea what the fuck i was talking about. it's sort of sad in a way. but the picture of reyla will be done soon and i am quite proud of it...

bought the elf soundtrack and it is the best christmas cd since the south park christmas album. i hate christmas songs but every track on this cd is a delight. especially brian setzer's nutcracker suite. if i had to sit in a big room and listen to the same song forever for eternity, i might consider that song as a top ten candidate. it's keen. i am completely obsessed with arctic puffin and if you do not know what that is, you must see elf immediately.

i'm thinking of writing reviews for movies and tv and stuff since i would like to. however, i am lazy and this puts a damper on everything.

i think my car is dead. it was alive for two days but now it is somewhat dead. i cry

sleep...

i write now because for the first time in my life, i was denied tickets to a rated r movie.

i go to see matrix with friends and we are all laughing and having a good time and when we get up to the ticket office the man says, "i need an id" and i'm all, "no problem!" and whip out my student id. this, however, is not good enough for the man. he then asked me for an id with a birthdate on it. i had to explain to him that the school id is all i have and that i cannot drive. he go, "well, do you have a passport or a birth certificate?" "not ON me" i say. he then proceeds to tell why he cannot sell us tickets for the matrix. "it's like selling alcohol or cigarettes to a minor" he go. "but it's not detrimental to your HEALTH" i told him, but he still refused to sell the tickets. we all then walked away like a pile of broken dreams with feet. god does not want me to see matrix tonight

i did see elf the other day though and that really was splendid in a cutesy innocent way. will ferrel makes me laugh. bought the ginormous kill bill poster and still need to hang it up. i cannot figure out where to put it.

last night i was with katie j and foes and we decided to go to the abandoned kmart parking lot. i had my guitar so i could sit and sing songs about missing kmart to the four chords i know. ten minutes later a car approaches us with little lights on top of it, and the first thing i think is, "midget car ON TOP OF CAR" but soon we found out it was a police car. the man was nice and asked us what we were doing and i frankly told him (with guitar in hand) that we were singing songs about kmart. he said he'd love to hear. so i strum the e chord and sing in a broken, high pitched voice, "k maaaaart, we're so sad you're gone, we miiiiissss yoooooouuuuuuuu!!!!!!!" police man nods and tells us that we're not doing anything illegal so we can stay. he was only looking for a stolen jeep with paper plates all over it, or something. then he drove off and i kept singing.

i should hang up that poster now...

came home today only to find that the entire family had raided my candy bag and took absolutely every single piece of something i was saving for later. all of my reese's cups. they didn't even leave me one. i can't really tell what else is missing but i know it's gone because the amount of stuff in the bag is considerably less than what i had yesterday

made a happy collage for my friend katie j, which can be seen here. i don't think it needs any explanation whatsoever

i ate lots of chocolately things today which is bad enough but now when i go downstairs we have nothing but cookies, peanut butter, or food items packed with sodium, which isn't a far cry from my current all candy/salty meat sandwich diet. i return to my room to scrape for the precious few fun size snickers bars remaining...

had a dream where this rich obnoxious guy came into my work and was a pain in the ass but gave me a fifty-one dollar tip

i haven't updated in two days!!

first things first... halloween. everything went over pretty well and i wasn't shot or anything in my skimpy cop outfit. yay! took my sister trick or treating with stweve and got an assload of candy while my sister would scream, "uh oh, i just soiled myself" at the doorways of about half the houses we visited. then came parties... swteve and i attended two parties, one of which had a miniature mosh pit and an old friend dressed as a giant red cylinder with hands. we watched army of darkness which was... good?... and then there was a short-lived ten minute party where everyone was high. left that and went home. it was very cold and rainy and the fact that i was wearing maybe a total two square feet of clothing didn't help. at least i got lots of canday

now it is november and the transition has made the weather very VERY cold, which is nice and all but boy am i freezing. saw brother bear today and it wasn't very good and the time period it's supposed to be set in confuses the hell out of me. home on the range looks like it's gonna be tons of fun, though

ian has three cats. erin takes clariton but it don't work well. now erin can't breathe at all and her esophagus is swollen shut. she go die now...

but before that, earlier mentioned fish carnage pictures are here...





beginning...





middle... (gooey stuff on the tray to the bottom left courtesy of a sliced stomach)





all done!

here are some more pictures to soothe your soul after all that blood...

it was a rough and tumble day at sea today as class and crew boarded a small research ship to go a mile out into the ocean to look at fishes and things. it was good and fun until we reached the actual ocean, which was when the rain and the extreme lurching of the boat began. that boat was a-rockin, let me tell you. up and down and it felt like it was gonna tip sideways right into the sea. scary stuff. lots of people were queasy, whereas i had taken some dramamine and was clinging to a pole while i was getting pelted by cold rain. our class did a very good job at pissing off the tour guides, though.

ocean lady: what's a sinus? can someone tell me what a sinus is?
(silence)
ol: anyone?
kt bent: it's the thing that gives you a sniffle!

yeah. after the boat we went to the ocean institute to hack stuff open and poke at insides. it was better than i expected. our group was a dozen girls and one boy. now, our task was to cut open a mackeral. not even five minutes after the dead fish was placed in front of us, five of us girls took to the thing and propmtly cut it open and immediately started prodding and touching every bit of bloody organ there was. (two of these girls were homecoming princesses, i should mention) the more time went by the more guts and organs were hacked out and popped and mutilated. meanwhile, the one guy in our group is a cautious distance from the rest of us, saying, "you guys are SO SICK" and "i'm going to school with a bunch of serial killers, you guys are really fucked up" and "AWWW, GOD, DON'T DO TH-- AWWWWWWWWW!!" it was really nice, in a way. i have pictures but bluetooth isn't working just yet. later you will see FISH CARNAGE.

i'm doing current events and having much success with the redesigning of my website. my scanner is fine, turns out. i was the one who had a broken brain synapse and dad fixed the whole thing back to working order. i feel like my room is bobbing up and down...

halloween tomorrow. should be interesting, no doubt. andrea convinced me to be a cop so this is what i do. she is a fireman. i borrow her cop outfit from last year because i have no money, although when complete my outfit fits more of a "s&m nazi girlscout officer" description. not bad, eh? i definitely might be getting some looks tomorrow

my fingers feel like they're gonne bleed from guitaring... although i do know three chords now...

it was a rough and tumble day at sea today as class and crew boarded a small research ship to go a mile out into the ocean to look at fishes and things. it was good and fun until we reached the actual ocean, which was when the rain and the extreme lurching of the boat began. that boat was a-rockin, let me tell you. up and down and it felt like it was gonna tip sideways right into the sea. scary stuff. lots of people were queasy, whereas i had taken some dramamine and was clinging to a pole while i was getting pelted by cold rain. our class did a very good job at pissing off the tour guides, though.

ocean lady: what's a sinus? can someone tell me what a sinus is?
(silence)
ol: anyone?
kt bent: it's the thing that gives you a sniffle!

yeah. after the boat we went to the ocean institute to hack stuff open and poke at insides. it was better than i expected. our group was a dozen girls and one boy. now, our task was to cut open a mackeral. not even five minutes after the dead fish was placed in front of us, five of us girls took to the thing and propmtly cut it open and immediately started prodding and touching every bit of bloody organ there was. (two of these girls were homecoming princesses, i should mention) the more time went by the more guts and organs were hacked out and popped and mutilated. meanwhile, the one guy in our group is a cautious distance from the rest of us, saying, "you guys are SO SICK" and "i'm going to school with a bunch of serial killers, you guys are really fucked up" and "AWWW, GOD, DON'T DO TH-- AWWWWWWWWW!!" it was really nice, in a way. i have pictures but bluetooth isn't working just yet. later you will see FISH CARNAGE.

i'm doing current events and having much success with the redesigning of my website. my scanner is fine, turns out. i was the one who had a broken brain synapse and dad fixed the whole thing back to working order. i feel like my room is bobbing up and down...

halloween tomorrow. should be interesting, no doubt. andrea convinced me to be a cop so this is what i do. she is a fireman. i borrow her cop outfit from last year because i have no money, although when complete my outfit fits more of a "s&m nazi girlscout officer" description. not bad, eh? i definitely might be getting some looks tomorrow

my fingers feel like they're gonne bleed from guitaring... although i do know three chords now...

scanner still broken, forms to be filled, pills to be bought, current events to be done, sleeping must be had.

can't believe it's already wednesday and tomorrow i am going on a boat at seven in the morning for two hours to look at some plankton. woopee. can't stop eating fizzy ramune candy... damn!!!

yesterday was happy because i went to guitar center and... well, bought a guitar. my very first step towards abandoning modern society... next step is the beard. i didn't know if i was going to purchase so much as just look but i found something real nice. new guitars cost around 150 at the very least which was fine, but... in a corner i saw a guitar, GLOWING LIKE THE FACE OF THE NEWBORN BABY JESUS. it was a very nice used acoustic for about a hundred dollars. i talked with a man about it. he was very nice too. he sat patiently and spoke to me as i debated on whether to but the instrument or not, and then finally i decided to just go for it. and it was a good idea! i can't stop playing the damn thing and it's big and pretty. i got a chord booklet and a tuner and i'm not planning on taking lessons, so wish me luck... the whole business of music is looking like an impossible maze at this point. hopefully i'll get it soon. i can play three chords.

soooo sleepy... i hate boats...

... "ravioilies".

boo-k.

work was slighty more bearable today since i saw just about everyone i know on the entire planet. i feel like i was there for years though. at least i'm done until tomorrow and i have halloween off.

ash is raining from the sky harder than it was yesterday. it's very dry outside and smells like arizona. i don't like it much since i don't really like arizona at all. i took the bus home and had to walk up a hill in the dark which was nice, and i listened to "aluminum" twice. it's a good song to listen to whilst strolling in the darkness. although now i'm home and it smells like i smoked a carton of camels and i feel ash welling up inside my throat.

my scanner went and broked itself. this makes me very sad since i was actually planning on updating my website. also, i hate the fact that my email isn't working either and i have to go to some webpage to access it, which involves having to input my password three times to enter it and once again when the page loads. then after that i need to put my password in every time i click on something. i even have to type my password when i log out or delete something. god, it's annoying. since nothing is working anymore i've considered taking the last of my precious funds to buy a guitar and run into the woods and grow a beard and strum my guitar and never see civilization again. nothing works anymore and i think it's a sign. i just noticed that there is ash all over everything in my room.

i hunger for ravioilis

gaaaaaah. things continue to suck as i drop candy in the car, forget my nickels, my scanner isn't working anymore and then discover that no 7-11s in the area carry mt. dew slurpees. someone's out to make me insane with fury until i have an emotional breakdown and end up a weepy little ball in the corner while my eyes fall out from crying and then my arms fall off too for no real apparent reason. some guy just drove by in a really souped up car very VERY loud and obnoxious-like. wait... he went away but i can still hear him. what the hell is this guy doing? is he racing someone? he's got to be a few miles away by now and i can still hear his car in the distance. that's fucked up. pulp fiction was on tonight and me and stweve watched it a little before i fell asleep in my own lap. thank you for being the good thing in my life, stweve. we sure did have fun at the arcade.

i guess i should sleep now

weirdness abound today as half of california burns down. yellow, and i mean YELLOW, skies and white ash raining from the sky. it's very creepy and it looks like some sort of apocalyptic scene from a movie or tv show or something. but it was neat.

i have one of those jobs where you hope that any second satan will thrust himself from a huge crack in the ground, burn everyone with his stick of eternal hellfire, pour salty lemon juice on their flesh deprived bodies, and then eat them. i don't feel like elaborating beyond that

i am so happy with the new barenaked ladies cd i want to scream. i don't know if i brought this up before but it doesn't matter. it deserves second mention. some of the songs on it are just so damn good. aluminum and upside down are so fantastic and i think my neighbors really hate me because i've been playing them over and over and over again. also, stweve and i are planning out an amazing video for "shopping" which is officially the happiest song on the planet

i have more pictures to show now





ants in my shower. one ant is dragging the corpse of another ant while the other supervises





big whale bones from the ocean institute





whale ribs

tonight i am depressed for various dumb reasons which make me feel dumb. computer has been naggy but i think it's mostly my fault anyhow. and then the rest of it isn't worth talking about.

today stweve and i went to japanese market to frolic. i took pitchers, so now i give you JAPANESE MARKET ADVENTURE GALORE





my toshi was made in HEAVEN. where the fuck was YOUR toshi made, huh?





the crunkiest air you ever had





no comment on this one



maybe more writing later...

afterthoughts:

• an ant bit my bottom left eyelid as i was trying to fall asleep last night
• i took a walk through what used to be the chuck jones studio gallery in town (it is now a shop that sells fossils and gems). i was so depressed because even though i only went in there maybe a dozen times i remember how everything looked and everything they had on the walls. i walked up the stairs with my head down and i kept thinking that when i looked up, i'd see the nightmare before christmas, simpsons and what's opera doc lumicels still there. the rikki tikki tavi and the jungle book cells would still be there too, the disney cells all over the top room and that one lilo and stitch cell i loved. some of chuck's life drawings framed in that little room in the corner with the framed newspaper article over the couch and then the marvin the martian sculpture in front of the "employees only" sign. i miss it so much and i mostly hate the replacement although it is selling a real-life triceratops horn from forty-five million years ago. it doesn't look like a triceratops horn but it is huge and it was one, i guess. which is awesome. it's selling for five grand and i probably stared about it for an hour since it was like... real life proof of dinosaurs right there in front of me. long ago it was attached to a dinosaur. that was neat to think of. but then i got angry because i can't like the store. i walked out afterwards
• i bought a belt that's really a seatbelt fashioned for pants. ain't that keen?
• my family threw a birthday party for my dog today. there are pictures

i am very sleepy but i thought i'd write something before i went to bed just to make sure i get that extra lack of sleep tomorrow.

just finished an essay and current events and you can bet your scrotum i'll be happy when school is done tomorrow. i am fried and ready to sleep all weekend until i have to work which i'm guessing will not be much fun. mostly i think this because it infrequently IS fun. or maybe i'm rambling. i very sleepy. i said so before.

a lady came in today to buy chocolate and she had pants with flowers on them. the flowers had spots which made it look like bugs were swarming all over her legs which was funny for me to think about. then this couple came in and bought some stuff and as they left i said, "you two have a good one" and then after they walked out i could still here them talking, and the guy said to the girl, "she knew you were german! she said 'you two have a good one'". now i do not know if i am missing something major here but i didn't quite understand that whole moment. maybe somebody can clarify for me.

i can't believe tomorrow is a whole week since the big animation show santa barbara trip. it makes me sad because i had fun and it's been over for like... a whole week. time goes by so fast.

and now time for phone picture extravaganza spectaculare grande fantasticonomous





boy scouts!





some underwear i saw lying in the street outside the health food store!





art teacher!





flugtag! and shortly after...





first time seeing animation show! don't worry, nobody was behind me to be annoyed by the incredible glare of my phone in the theater

i am done for now

so it looks like the reinstallation of the system worked nicely and i'm up and running with good stuff once again, except for now everything on my desktop is clean and i don't know what to do with all the vast amounts of space.

bought the new barenaked ladies cd off of itunes yesterday and howdeeee it is good. i think my new favorite song of the universe is "shopping" and i wish it played along with me wherever i went. i want to animate some really happy sequence to the song someday. it has so much potential. listen to it now.

took a routine trip to best buy today with stweve to look at things and drool over the indiana jones box set neither of us can afford. i was walking down the aisle going, "matrix two! nah. dreamcatcher!! stupid but funny!! i should bu--" and then i look over and see 28 days later all over the place. i dance and scream and jump up and down in my clunky high heel-ish shoes and man at the end of the aisle gives me dirty look. i buy even though i have no money!! i buy!! i get home! i start opening and look down and see...

FULLSCREEN VERSION

... i curled into a little ball and wept like a weepy thing. but it's okay now because i got to go back and EXCHANGE IT FOR WIDESCREEN. now everything is good again but i have a ton of work to do and i'm very sleepy. okay. i have so many pictures backed up on my phone it's crazy, so you'll be seeing lots of those soon. woop!