so christmas came and went before i even got the chance to turn around and go "whuh?" and realize that it happened. but all and all it was good. there is so much i could talk about right now that i've forgotten it all, but i do have a massive amount of pictures of some of the highlights of christmas break 2003 thus far. take a look... there are a lot.





claire and her iced tea. but wait... take a closer look...





reeses brand ice tea! chocolate peanut butter... yum





the underlying messages in malls supporting the use of pesticides...









once again the japanese flaunt their amazing engrish skillz





the magazine that helps your cat cope with his obesity





asse, anyone?





i bought this stuff. it's actually pretty damn good.





fish screams for help!





here's a good one. the other day andrea and i went out and got some food at this place called heidelberg's. i ordered this immense croissant stuffed with ham, cheese, and scrambled eggs. i ate it in a nearby parking lot, and the entire time i kept saying "aw man, i really should have got a fork and some napkins while i was there" because every second that went by the croissant would reach a new height of gooey insane mess. I NEED A FORK, WHY DIDN'T I GET A FORK i screamed. i eventually reached a point of enough and stopped eating the thing because it was such a mess and i just felt dirty. as i put the food back into the bag to be thrown away... i notice something. a small bag. "what's this?" i say. i reach inside and see.... a fork. and a knife. and napkins. i yelled.





that is enough for now, i think.

i hate deviantart.com accounts. haaaate.

first off, the entire community on the site littered by ten to twelve years olds with the drawing power of god bestowed in their little prepubescent fingers. not to mention they claim to love kubrick and scorsese films. TWELVE YEARS OLD, WATCHING KUBRICK FILMS. what the hell was i doing when i was that age? i'll tell you. i was probably sitting the middle of a room, drooling all over myself while i drew stick figure bunnies with my feet. what the hell!?

well, okay. i don't HATE deviantart.com because of the emergence of da vinci-esque youth. and i don't really hate the young artists either. i am just jealous and amazed and stupified and angry. but that's all. the REAL reason why i hate deviantart.com is because so many people use it to put their art online, yet it loads slower than frozen molasses and the whole thing is just a very ugly and complex system which makes me have to force quit my browser whenever i click on someone's gallery. mah.

that was such a nerdy paragraph.

i saw the final chapter of Lord of the Rings last night when i sat down at eleven thirty in the theater. my god, it was incredible. i don't think i need to say much beyond that, because everyone who saw it knows what i'm talking about. jesus. freaking. christ. i don't think i've ever been so wide-eyed and thinking to myself, "OH SHIT OOOOHHHH FUCK THAT'S COOL!!!" more times in any other movie i've ever seen, except maybe for kill bill. but wow. the whole thing was the perfect and most fantastic ending to a trilogy of nothing but goodness!!!! and also i'm in love sam. i don't know why but he was so my favorite. every time he cried, i cried (which was about half of the film). i don't like it when sam hurts. mwaaawwww!!

christmas is drawing nigh and it doesn't even feel like it, especially when it's seventy degrees outside. what the fuck is that. i have no idea.

i wanted to do pictures but i can't seem to upload anything right now. i will have them later, then...

last night i had a dream where i was committed into an insane asylum that was more like some sort of bizarre summer camp. part of it looked like my school and some sort of military base. there was a huge alien spaceship there, too. my english teacher was there yelling at people and he was telling us about how we were supposed to stay in this certain room and watch a movie. suddenly a friend of mine came up to me and told me that the zombie aliens needed their brains back, and the only way to do it was to find the king alien and jab my thumb underneath his chin and kill him, while at the same time popping out his brain. i told my friend that i wasn't sure about his plan, when i saw a box of weird pills. we put water on the pills, and they transformed into giant red/purple brains that littered the ground everywhere. and there was this weird alien corpse on the ground. my english teacher got upset about "the brains being released". the whole dream i was constantly concerned that i wasn't going to make it to work on time the next day, since i was committed and all. i spent a good deal of time on the phone calling my work and my mom, asking if she could break me out so i could get to the chocolate factory the next day.

i thought about it and figured out where certain parts of my dream came from:

• box - the box of unfinished nerve ending from "My Life As A Teenage Robot"
• alien corpse - dead alien from a video game at a friend's house
• military base - base from the aforementioned video game
• spaceship - Nergil's ship from yesterday's episode of "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy"
• pills - watched some friends play "Dr. Mario" yesterday
• insane asylum/movie/english teacher - recently watched "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" in english class

kinda interesting how you can piece a dream together like that. maybe they really don't have meaning. maybe dreams are just jumbled up shit that is buried in our psyche. eh. i don't feel like thinking about it much right now.

saturday night and there is so much to do, yet i'm doing nothing...

this just in:

DIE GWENYTH PALTROW DIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, it's official. i've listened to david cassidy's "i think i love you" more than a complete forty times in the past twenty four hours, and that's excluding how many times i listened to it on my ipod. i'm just going by itunes' count. the former record holder for most played song was barenaked ladies' "celebrity", with eighteen times over a period of like, three months. i don';t know what it is about this song but i cannot stop listening to it or loving it. it's sort of creepy. hmm!

SLEEP IS MUCH NEEDED BY ME

more post-worthy chatting...

ErinZ (12:03:51 AM): doug was so dirty
ErinZ (12:04:03 AM): he was like twelve but bald
ErinZ (12:04:06 AM): how fucked up is that
Dre (12:04:11 AM): haha
ErinZ (12:04:28 AM): maybe he had cancer
ErinZ (12:04:33 AM): skeeter was definitely retarded
ErinZ (12:04:42 AM): and pattie mayonnaise was a whore and everyone knew it
ErinZ (12:05:11 AM): his neighbor was a child molester
ErinZ (12:05:34 AM): his sister was a thespian lesbian
ErinZ (12:05:50 AM): does no one see the dark undertones of this show

ErinZ (11:48:01 PM): smell is the weirdest sense
ErinZ (11:48:10 PM): sure there's sight, taste, touch
ErinZ (11:48:15 PM): but how the fuck to you explain smell
ErinZ (11:48:43 PM): a bunch of particles floating around that hit some fleshy flaps inside of cartilage and bone, somehow produces this thing called "smell"
Dre (11:48:46 PM): tell me about it
Dre (11:48:54 PM): too bad stevie wonder cant smell
ErinZ (11:49:08 PM): i was just thinking of how if we encountered beings that couldn't smell, how the hell would you explain what it's like to them
ErinZ (11:49:12 PM): seeing you can explain
ErinZ (11:49:16 PM): feeling you can explain
ErinZ (11:49:53 PM): smell just seems like it would be such a difficult thing to comprehend if you didn't know what it was
Dre (11:49:58 PM): this is true
ErinZ (11:50:14 PM): hmmmm
ErinZ (11:50:18 PM): i am very introspective tonight

and how!

ErinZ (11:42:09 PM): everything in the last one felt too abrupt
ErinZ (11:42:21 PM): i feel like i still have one more movie to go
Stweve (11:42:49 PM): one more matrix movie?
ErinZ (11:43:02 PM): yeah
ErinZ (11:43:51 PM): and i don't like how much they dwelled on the new actress for the oracle
ErinZ (11:44:10 PM): if they were going to make such a big deal about her face changing, they should have made her change really drastically
Stweve (11:44:10 PM): i agree
ErinZ (11:44:20 PM): like a white jew or something
Stweve (11:44:30 PM): hahahaha
ErinZ (11:44:34 PM): i found myself trying to remember how the old actress looked different
ErinZ (11:44:50 PM): way too much explanation on that one
ErinZ (11:46:30 PM): it was like inadvertently saying, "the oracle's original actress died. okay? now we're gonna mention it three different times just to assure you that there is someone new playing her. just so you know. because the other one... she died. and now we're trying to make ammends for it. because she died. but don't worry, we're telling you why she looks different now in the matrix universe. it's going to be okay"
ErinZ (11:46:55 PM): the whole time i was just like JESUS FUCK I KNOW ALREADY
Stweve (11:47:19 PM): haha

time line = one of the worst movies ever

i don't know how i got pulled into it but i returned from seeing "timeline" several minutes ago and... wow. i mean..... WOW. it is HORRIBLE. if only we could go back in time to a time when paul walker didn't have an acting career. but the movie was horrible in a really funny way. i highly recommend you and your cohorts dash off to see it immediately. intoxicating substances will most likely enhance the experience as well. gooooo for it

also saw matrix revolutions tonight. while i didn't dislike it, i didn't love it either. i dunno. i stayed sort of neutral throughout the entire thing, not really sure about not being sure how to feel about it. the war in zion was amazing, though. and of course, so was the dragonball z-esque duel between neo and smith. neat stuff all around, although i still think the first one is the best. it just has more of a blue tint to it, which i think suits the matrix universe much better than the green tint they've used for the new films. does that make any sense at all? someone out there must know what i'm talking about.

jammed my fingers in a sliding case door at work. still hurts. also was forced to listen to phil collins for seven hours. REALLY not happy about that one.

hospitality night last night was awesome and believe it or not, nothing bad happened. walked around and saw lots of people, ate burgers and talked nerdy for a majority of the time. a good time to be had indeed

i got a double dose of lambert wilson tonight (the man who plays the merovingian AND some arbitrary french guy in timeline). the guy who played einon from dragonheart was in it too, but i think i was the only one who noticed.

more work tomorrow...

this week has thus far been very emotionally eventful in ways i do not care to describe. i was wrong about eisner, it seems. apparently everyone is glad crazy ol' roy disney is off the team and will stop distracting everyone with his criticisms of the festering plague that has overtaken the company. oh well. keeping raping everyone up the ass and pissing on their dead grandmothers, michael! the world loves you for it.

tomorrow is friday and i still have no idea what's going on.

more pictures.





welcome to laguna beach high school, where even the coolest and best-dressed kids wear kilts





friend dodges improvisational bullet-time punch, neo-style

i ate a lemon square today and it made me so sick. i am suffering dearly for it now. i knew it looked funny but i still ate it and now ooogh. i am hungry but when i eat my insides writhe in agony. gah!!

not again!!

haven't written in awhile but life has been pretty awesome. michael eisner has been put in the "asshole of the universe" spotlight and he doesn't have many career options left ahead of him, i think. and also, rumor is that pixar may be opening their own 2-d animation studio. i just may have a future after all. pirates of the caribbean on dvd. i'll let pictures do the rest of the talking for now.





scary fat monster starfish from hell





something i drew on my arm





i'm not really sure what this is about but andrea took it. i am also not sure how the semi-fish eye lense effect was accomplished





a pile of pine needles i made with my feet





local coffee pub slave manages gyrating santa show while godzilla and honey bear stare with awe and arousal

i was gonna write more but it'll have to wait until later...

sick sick sick sick siiiiick.

have spent most of the past day and a half in bed rolling about in a cushiony layer of tissues and sweaty blankets. i am fighting the evil as much as i can and i think i am slowly coming out on top. my nose feels like it is going to fall off.

lots of hullabuloo in santa barbara this morning as michael jackson is only being accused of child molestation maybe for the ten bajillionth time. who didn't see this one coming?

nothing else to say for now... need to shower

it seems that something evil is battling my immune system somethin' fierce right now. my nose is angry and i can't seem to open my eyelids fully.

initiate operation VICKS VAPORUB™ and PUFFS™ PLUS© LOTION TISSUES ™©®™

we moved about half the desk today only to discover that the whole thing really isn't going to work out. let's face it... disney animation desk is the stuff of dreams but... completely impractical in my current situation. i am saddened and i must send all my heartfelt apologies to stweve for going through all the insane trouble only to have it all end up like this. i sorry, stweve.

the car goes in to get a ding fix tomorrow. i stomp all angry around because it seems i cannot obtain any given vehicle for more than a forty-eight hour period. my baby!!!

and the mucus keeps on comin

forgot to mention very bizarre dream last night where jack black professed his undying love to me and i was swimming in an ocean alongside a cliff. however, this was all after being in a friend's bathroom naked for no apparent reason

taking a break from government notes and drawing flashcards for mexicans to write. haven't had much time in the past few days due to exciting insanity/stress/sleepies.

it all begins on friday while i'm at the game and very sleepy from walking to and from school and working all day, but i'm in a very cheery mood. in fact, cheery enough to dance my way back to school by myself at seven o'clock at night to the elf soundtrack. everyone was at the game including my new soulmate jesse. it was very cold and i ate some crappy pizza but then the phone rings. it be my parents telling me they got news for me. i was scared and confused. but next thing i know, they say...

new car.

well, you can bet that i screamed until i nearly vomited blood. the car is now about ten feet away from me and through the garage door (i am in mom's office right now). it is brand new volkswagon concept lagoon blue color only two thousand made black leather blue insert interior with blue stitching 200 watt monsoon sound system seat heat full lumbar support TURBO BEETLE. i shit my pants every time i so much as think about it. the car is the most beautiful creation by man up to date and it packs such a punch that i am afraid to look at it. it is my baby. and boy howdy, are we gonna RAGE.

so life is very good. except for the consistent flow of schoolwork and community service and soon car payments and art. tomorrow is the day the animation desk finds its new home in my pants. room. it will be difficult and i am stressed but i'm quite sure the end result will be very pleasing. this is a good year for me indeed and despite the stress of art and school and portfolios, it is senior year, i have a car, an animation desk, a guitar, and a dream.

"and" count in previous paragraph: 8

i have another dream besides the aforementioned dream and this dream i share with stweve. we have a vision of bringing the animation show to laguna beach. stweve is hooking it up with the school and the theatre he works at and i am hooking it up (or trying to, at least) with the animation show crew. hopefully they will be willing to acquiesce with our plight to bring this heaping glory of a ninety-minute show to a few more people in this world. i swear to god i'll make it happen. i'm determined, by golly. and you know, every time i've say to myself, "this is the last time i'll ever see the animation show" i end up seeing it at least one more time, completely unexpectedly... let's see if the tradition continues...

now i guess i must go clean my room because it is a hideous mess and the desk will be frowny if it is not clean

writing to once again ensure a hearty lack of slumber

today was thursday which means something was bound to go wrong. this week's installment was somebody signing on my screen name in the computer lab at school and deleting my entire buddy list. woopee!!

running out of hair straightener. afraid

got a haircut today too. at fantastic sams, which is a terrifying place with paint on the walls. while i was sitting around the place i was working on a drawing of my character reyla (for the half a person who knows, reyla is the sexy pink-haired lass avec bondage dans la pagé de artweeerkkoo) and a haircut lady stopped and started talking to me.

haircut lady: is that freehand?
me: yeah, it is.
hl: are you taking classes? i hope you are.
me: no... no classes. i'm self-taught.
hl: well, i hope you're planning on doing something with that.
me: yeah, i am.
hl: do you want to illustrate children's books?
me: (glaring at the drawing with reyla in a dark goth-esque outfit and a very short skirt)... no, i'm getting into animation and comic books.
hl: oooh!! done in freehand like that?
me: yes...
hl: now is that yours, have you made that before?
me: yes, she's an original character from a comic i've been working on for a year and a half.
hl: so is she or he yours?
me:...... yes.
hl: and you want to do this freehand?
me: yep. i want to make my own animated shorts.
hl: but... i thought they did that all with computer now! do they still do it freehand?
me: well, computer is becoming more popular, but... there are still certain animation shows and things which support traditiona--
hl: you keep that up! it's neat!
me: ....

now, okay. i know not every person on the planet can be animation savvy but that conversation was so bizarre and depressing even though i know that the woman knows nothing about animation or could even tell reyla is a woman. it's not her fault in the slightest but it's times like that where i know that no matter how hard i could try to explain the complex beauty of animation to someone, they still would have no idea what the fuck i was talking about. it's sort of sad in a way. but the picture of reyla will be done soon and i am quite proud of it...

bought the elf soundtrack and it is the best christmas cd since the south park christmas album. i hate christmas songs but every track on this cd is a delight. especially brian setzer's nutcracker suite. if i had to sit in a big room and listen to the same song forever for eternity, i might consider that song as a top ten candidate. it's keen. i am completely obsessed with arctic puffin and if you do not know what that is, you must see elf immediately.

i'm thinking of writing reviews for movies and tv and stuff since i would like to. however, i am lazy and this puts a damper on everything.

i think my car is dead. it was alive for two days but now it is somewhat dead. i cry

sleep...

i write now because for the first time in my life, i was denied tickets to a rated r movie.

i go to see matrix with friends and we are all laughing and having a good time and when we get up to the ticket office the man says, "i need an id" and i'm all, "no problem!" and whip out my student id. this, however, is not good enough for the man. he then asked me for an id with a birthdate on it. i had to explain to him that the school id is all i have and that i cannot drive. he go, "well, do you have a passport or a birth certificate?" "not ON me" i say. he then proceeds to tell why he cannot sell us tickets for the matrix. "it's like selling alcohol or cigarettes to a minor" he go. "but it's not detrimental to your HEALTH" i told him, but he still refused to sell the tickets. we all then walked away like a pile of broken dreams with feet. god does not want me to see matrix tonight

i did see elf the other day though and that really was splendid in a cutesy innocent way. will ferrel makes me laugh. bought the ginormous kill bill poster and still need to hang it up. i cannot figure out where to put it.

last night i was with katie j and foes and we decided to go to the abandoned kmart parking lot. i had my guitar so i could sit and sing songs about missing kmart to the four chords i know. ten minutes later a car approaches us with little lights on top of it, and the first thing i think is, "midget car ON TOP OF CAR" but soon we found out it was a police car. the man was nice and asked us what we were doing and i frankly told him (with guitar in hand) that we were singing songs about kmart. he said he'd love to hear. so i strum the e chord and sing in a broken, high pitched voice, "k maaaaart, we're so sad you're gone, we miiiiissss yoooooouuuuuuuu!!!!!!!" police man nods and tells us that we're not doing anything illegal so we can stay. he was only looking for a stolen jeep with paper plates all over it, or something. then he drove off and i kept singing.

i should hang up that poster now...

came home today only to find that the entire family had raided my candy bag and took absolutely every single piece of something i was saving for later. all of my reese's cups. they didn't even leave me one. i can't really tell what else is missing but i know it's gone because the amount of stuff in the bag is considerably less than what i had yesterday

made a happy collage for my friend katie j, which can be seen here. i don't think it needs any explanation whatsoever

i ate lots of chocolately things today which is bad enough but now when i go downstairs we have nothing but cookies, peanut butter, or food items packed with sodium, which isn't a far cry from my current all candy/salty meat sandwich diet. i return to my room to scrape for the precious few fun size snickers bars remaining...

had a dream where this rich obnoxious guy came into my work and was a pain in the ass but gave me a fifty-one dollar tip

i haven't updated in two days!!

first things first... halloween. everything went over pretty well and i wasn't shot or anything in my skimpy cop outfit. yay! took my sister trick or treating with stweve and got an assload of candy while my sister would scream, "uh oh, i just soiled myself" at the doorways of about half the houses we visited. then came parties... swteve and i attended two parties, one of which had a miniature mosh pit and an old friend dressed as a giant red cylinder with hands. we watched army of darkness which was... good?... and then there was a short-lived ten minute party where everyone was high. left that and went home. it was very cold and rainy and the fact that i was wearing maybe a total two square feet of clothing didn't help. at least i got lots of canday

now it is november and the transition has made the weather very VERY cold, which is nice and all but boy am i freezing. saw brother bear today and it wasn't very good and the time period it's supposed to be set in confuses the hell out of me. home on the range looks like it's gonna be tons of fun, though

ian has three cats. erin takes clariton but it don't work well. now erin can't breathe at all and her esophagus is swollen shut. she go die now...

but before that, earlier mentioned fish carnage pictures are here...





beginning...





middle... (gooey stuff on the tray to the bottom left courtesy of a sliced stomach)





all done!

here are some more pictures to soothe your soul after all that blood...

it was a rough and tumble day at sea today as class and crew boarded a small research ship to go a mile out into the ocean to look at fishes and things. it was good and fun until we reached the actual ocean, which was when the rain and the extreme lurching of the boat began. that boat was a-rockin, let me tell you. up and down and it felt like it was gonna tip sideways right into the sea. scary stuff. lots of people were queasy, whereas i had taken some dramamine and was clinging to a pole while i was getting pelted by cold rain. our class did a very good job at pissing off the tour guides, though.

ocean lady: what's a sinus? can someone tell me what a sinus is?
(silence)
ol: anyone?
kt bent: it's the thing that gives you a sniffle!

yeah. after the boat we went to the ocean institute to hack stuff open and poke at insides. it was better than i expected. our group was a dozen girls and one boy. now, our task was to cut open a mackeral. not even five minutes after the dead fish was placed in front of us, five of us girls took to the thing and propmtly cut it open and immediately started prodding and touching every bit of bloody organ there was. (two of these girls were homecoming princesses, i should mention) the more time went by the more guts and organs were hacked out and popped and mutilated. meanwhile, the one guy in our group is a cautious distance from the rest of us, saying, "you guys are SO SICK" and "i'm going to school with a bunch of serial killers, you guys are really fucked up" and "AWWW, GOD, DON'T DO TH-- AWWWWWWWWW!!" it was really nice, in a way. i have pictures but bluetooth isn't working just yet. later you will see FISH CARNAGE.

i'm doing current events and having much success with the redesigning of my website. my scanner is fine, turns out. i was the one who had a broken brain synapse and dad fixed the whole thing back to working order. i feel like my room is bobbing up and down...

halloween tomorrow. should be interesting, no doubt. andrea convinced me to be a cop so this is what i do. she is a fireman. i borrow her cop outfit from last year because i have no money, although when complete my outfit fits more of a "s&m nazi girlscout officer" description. not bad, eh? i definitely might be getting some looks tomorrow

my fingers feel like they're gonne bleed from guitaring... although i do know three chords now...

it was a rough and tumble day at sea today as class and crew boarded a small research ship to go a mile out into the ocean to look at fishes and things. it was good and fun until we reached the actual ocean, which was when the rain and the extreme lurching of the boat began. that boat was a-rockin, let me tell you. up and down and it felt like it was gonna tip sideways right into the sea. scary stuff. lots of people were queasy, whereas i had taken some dramamine and was clinging to a pole while i was getting pelted by cold rain. our class did a very good job at pissing off the tour guides, though.

ocean lady: what's a sinus? can someone tell me what a sinus is?
(silence)
ol: anyone?
kt bent: it's the thing that gives you a sniffle!

yeah. after the boat we went to the ocean institute to hack stuff open and poke at insides. it was better than i expected. our group was a dozen girls and one boy. now, our task was to cut open a mackeral. not even five minutes after the dead fish was placed in front of us, five of us girls took to the thing and propmtly cut it open and immediately started prodding and touching every bit of bloody organ there was. (two of these girls were homecoming princesses, i should mention) the more time went by the more guts and organs were hacked out and popped and mutilated. meanwhile, the one guy in our group is a cautious distance from the rest of us, saying, "you guys are SO SICK" and "i'm going to school with a bunch of serial killers, you guys are really fucked up" and "AWWW, GOD, DON'T DO TH-- AWWWWWWWWW!!" it was really nice, in a way. i have pictures but bluetooth isn't working just yet. later you will see FISH CARNAGE.

i'm doing current events and having much success with the redesigning of my website. my scanner is fine, turns out. i was the one who had a broken brain synapse and dad fixed the whole thing back to working order. i feel like my room is bobbing up and down...

halloween tomorrow. should be interesting, no doubt. andrea convinced me to be a cop so this is what i do. she is a fireman. i borrow her cop outfit from last year because i have no money, although when complete my outfit fits more of a "s&m nazi girlscout officer" description. not bad, eh? i definitely might be getting some looks tomorrow

my fingers feel like they're gonne bleed from guitaring... although i do know three chords now...

scanner still broken, forms to be filled, pills to be bought, current events to be done, sleeping must be had.

can't believe it's already wednesday and tomorrow i am going on a boat at seven in the morning for two hours to look at some plankton. woopee. can't stop eating fizzy ramune candy... damn!!!

yesterday was happy because i went to guitar center and... well, bought a guitar. my very first step towards abandoning modern society... next step is the beard. i didn't know if i was going to purchase so much as just look but i found something real nice. new guitars cost around 150 at the very least which was fine, but... in a corner i saw a guitar, GLOWING LIKE THE FACE OF THE NEWBORN BABY JESUS. it was a very nice used acoustic for about a hundred dollars. i talked with a man about it. he was very nice too. he sat patiently and spoke to me as i debated on whether to but the instrument or not, and then finally i decided to just go for it. and it was a good idea! i can't stop playing the damn thing and it's big and pretty. i got a chord booklet and a tuner and i'm not planning on taking lessons, so wish me luck... the whole business of music is looking like an impossible maze at this point. hopefully i'll get it soon. i can play three chords.

soooo sleepy... i hate boats...

... "ravioilies".

boo-k.

work was slighty more bearable today since i saw just about everyone i know on the entire planet. i feel like i was there for years though. at least i'm done until tomorrow and i have halloween off.

ash is raining from the sky harder than it was yesterday. it's very dry outside and smells like arizona. i don't like it much since i don't really like arizona at all. i took the bus home and had to walk up a hill in the dark which was nice, and i listened to "aluminum" twice. it's a good song to listen to whilst strolling in the darkness. although now i'm home and it smells like i smoked a carton of camels and i feel ash welling up inside my throat.

my scanner went and broked itself. this makes me very sad since i was actually planning on updating my website. also, i hate the fact that my email isn't working either and i have to go to some webpage to access it, which involves having to input my password three times to enter it and once again when the page loads. then after that i need to put my password in every time i click on something. i even have to type my password when i log out or delete something. god, it's annoying. since nothing is working anymore i've considered taking the last of my precious funds to buy a guitar and run into the woods and grow a beard and strum my guitar and never see civilization again. nothing works anymore and i think it's a sign. i just noticed that there is ash all over everything in my room.

i hunger for ravioilis

gaaaaaah. things continue to suck as i drop candy in the car, forget my nickels, my scanner isn't working anymore and then discover that no 7-11s in the area carry mt. dew slurpees. someone's out to make me insane with fury until i have an emotional breakdown and end up a weepy little ball in the corner while my eyes fall out from crying and then my arms fall off too for no real apparent reason. some guy just drove by in a really souped up car very VERY loud and obnoxious-like. wait... he went away but i can still hear him. what the hell is this guy doing? is he racing someone? he's got to be a few miles away by now and i can still hear his car in the distance. that's fucked up. pulp fiction was on tonight and me and stweve watched it a little before i fell asleep in my own lap. thank you for being the good thing in my life, stweve. we sure did have fun at the arcade.

i guess i should sleep now

weirdness abound today as half of california burns down. yellow, and i mean YELLOW, skies and white ash raining from the sky. it's very creepy and it looks like some sort of apocalyptic scene from a movie or tv show or something. but it was neat.

i have one of those jobs where you hope that any second satan will thrust himself from a huge crack in the ground, burn everyone with his stick of eternal hellfire, pour salty lemon juice on their flesh deprived bodies, and then eat them. i don't feel like elaborating beyond that

i am so happy with the new barenaked ladies cd i want to scream. i don't know if i brought this up before but it doesn't matter. it deserves second mention. some of the songs on it are just so damn good. aluminum and upside down are so fantastic and i think my neighbors really hate me because i've been playing them over and over and over again. also, stweve and i are planning out an amazing video for "shopping" which is officially the happiest song on the planet

i have more pictures to show now





ants in my shower. one ant is dragging the corpse of another ant while the other supervises





big whale bones from the ocean institute





whale ribs

tonight i am depressed for various dumb reasons which make me feel dumb. computer has been naggy but i think it's mostly my fault anyhow. and then the rest of it isn't worth talking about.

today stweve and i went to japanese market to frolic. i took pitchers, so now i give you JAPANESE MARKET ADVENTURE GALORE





my toshi was made in HEAVEN. where the fuck was YOUR toshi made, huh?





the crunkiest air you ever had





no comment on this one



maybe more writing later...

afterthoughts:

• an ant bit my bottom left eyelid as i was trying to fall asleep last night
• i took a walk through what used to be the chuck jones studio gallery in town (it is now a shop that sells fossils and gems). i was so depressed because even though i only went in there maybe a dozen times i remember how everything looked and everything they had on the walls. i walked up the stairs with my head down and i kept thinking that when i looked up, i'd see the nightmare before christmas, simpsons and what's opera doc lumicels still there. the rikki tikki tavi and the jungle book cells would still be there too, the disney cells all over the top room and that one lilo and stitch cell i loved. some of chuck's life drawings framed in that little room in the corner with the framed newspaper article over the couch and then the marvin the martian sculpture in front of the "employees only" sign. i miss it so much and i mostly hate the replacement although it is selling a real-life triceratops horn from forty-five million years ago. it doesn't look like a triceratops horn but it is huge and it was one, i guess. which is awesome. it's selling for five grand and i probably stared about it for an hour since it was like... real life proof of dinosaurs right there in front of me. long ago it was attached to a dinosaur. that was neat to think of. but then i got angry because i can't like the store. i walked out afterwards
• i bought a belt that's really a seatbelt fashioned for pants. ain't that keen?
• my family threw a birthday party for my dog today. there are pictures

i am very sleepy but i thought i'd write something before i went to bed just to make sure i get that extra lack of sleep tomorrow.

just finished an essay and current events and you can bet your scrotum i'll be happy when school is done tomorrow. i am fried and ready to sleep all weekend until i have to work which i'm guessing will not be much fun. mostly i think this because it infrequently IS fun. or maybe i'm rambling. i very sleepy. i said so before.

a lady came in today to buy chocolate and she had pants with flowers on them. the flowers had spots which made it look like bugs were swarming all over her legs which was funny for me to think about. then this couple came in and bought some stuff and as they left i said, "you two have a good one" and then after they walked out i could still here them talking, and the guy said to the girl, "she knew you were german! she said 'you two have a good one'". now i do not know if i am missing something major here but i didn't quite understand that whole moment. maybe somebody can clarify for me.

i can't believe tomorrow is a whole week since the big animation show santa barbara trip. it makes me sad because i had fun and it's been over for like... a whole week. time goes by so fast.

and now time for phone picture extravaganza spectaculare grande fantasticonomous





boy scouts!





some underwear i saw lying in the street outside the health food store!





art teacher!





flugtag! and shortly after...





first time seeing animation show! don't worry, nobody was behind me to be annoyed by the incredible glare of my phone in the theater

i am done for now

so it looks like the reinstallation of the system worked nicely and i'm up and running with good stuff once again, except for now everything on my desktop is clean and i don't know what to do with all the vast amounts of space.

bought the new barenaked ladies cd off of itunes yesterday and howdeeee it is good. i think my new favorite song of the universe is "shopping" and i wish it played along with me wherever i went. i want to animate some really happy sequence to the song someday. it has so much potential. listen to it now.

took a routine trip to best buy today with stweve to look at things and drool over the indiana jones box set neither of us can afford. i was walking down the aisle going, "matrix two! nah. dreamcatcher!! stupid but funny!! i should bu--" and then i look over and see 28 days later all over the place. i dance and scream and jump up and down in my clunky high heel-ish shoes and man at the end of the aisle gives me dirty look. i buy even though i have no money!! i buy!! i get home! i start opening and look down and see...

FULLSCREEN VERSION

... i curled into a little ball and wept like a weepy thing. but it's okay now because i got to go back and EXCHANGE IT FOR WIDESCREEN. now everything is good again but i have a ton of work to do and i'm very sleepy. okay. i have so many pictures backed up on my phone it's crazy, so you'll be seeing lots of those soon. woop!

lately i have found that i haven't been eating so much anymore and have become increasingly thirstier. ever since thursday i eat maybe three things a day but feel fine. i am not sure why this is but i am drinking tons of water and orange juice and it makes me pee a lot.

i just backed up my entire harddrive and now i venture into reinstalling system ten in hopes of saving my computer. i don't know how well it's going to take it but i guess i'll find out in a couple of minutes. wish me luck. sorry about the pee pee statement.

forgive me for not writing in awhile but i discovered that sometimes the button that lets me publish this thing works and some time it does not. but now that i think about it, i am fairly convinced that nobody reads this things at all so i guess i am mostly apologizing to myself.

dinner was interesting tonight as my brother has become some sort of pizza alchemist. he made three different frozen pizzas, each with a variety of different spices and flavorings. he then explained to me that "this is for veggie lovers" and "this is for meat lovers". then he held out his hands and said, "veggie, meat. veggie, meat. veggie, meat. veggie, meat. meat, veggie, veggie, meat. veggie, veggie, meat, veggie, veggie, veggie, meat, veggie". i do not know what it was all about and what he was doing exactly but he was doing it. then some sort of baseball capped opera man was singing god bless america and shook his face around a lot.

i have piles of homework and other things to do and i am finding myself increasingly horrified by how much stuff i have piled in drawers and things. i am trying to clean to make room for the disney animation desk stweve got for me. i really want to start animating on a real professional desk with real professional tools instead of my friend's light box with acme pegs glued to it. although at this rate i feel like i'm never going to get this stuff cleaned out. and on top of that i really need to remodel my website, finish backing up my computer files to reinstall the system, and get some artwork done. i don't like having monumental things to do.

went to santa barbara on friday to see the animation show probably for the last time. went with stweve and it took us almost four hours to get there because of traffic, but we made it. there were maybe five accidents along the way and we almost got into three, the most memorable being when a giant metal bucket thing flew off the back of a truck. i was watching this guy in the car next to us dance around and i kept saying "look at that guy rock out!" when all of a sudden steve yells "OH SHIT" and i look ahead and he does this amazing swerve into the shoulder and back into the lane. the last half hour of the driving was really beautiful. ucsb is also very very pretty with its massive moving pencil sculptures and columbus slanders chalked all over the sidewalks. we got there very early so there were good seats in the fourth row calling to us. the theater was decently sized and before long it was completely packed with people. don hertzfeldt was there to answer the questions of the people and i bought a pink animation show shirt. steve and i had a lot of fun and it was one of the best times i've had in awhile.

i should probably get back to work now...

back home, back hurts, taking some quiz thingys and waiting for stweve. he got me something coooool. maybe i'll write about it later. results now!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Sprinting on the wasteland, attacking with two hardened pitas, cometh Satsuka! And she gives a booming cry: "I'm going to strike a match on your crotch, and set you ablaze!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Scientologists
Circle I Limbo

carrot top, pauly shore, General asshats
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

NAMBLA Members, PETA Members
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, DMV Employees
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Bill Gates, Gray Davis
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Militant Vegans
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

telemarketers
Circle VII Burning Sands

jennifer lopez
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Michael Eisner
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

yay! my personal hell is... horrible!

on the other hand...

Erin Fusco spins tunes as DJ Pulsating Rocket Get your dj name @ Quiz Me

....

notice that i keep getting the date wrong?
forget the time.
day whatever

haven't written in more than i usually do but now i'm writing. i scrawled out about three sentences of my government paper concerning bustamante's immigrant policy before deciding that i was done with it for the day. i should do it but... god. i'm in hawaii. i really don't feel like it.

plans continue to be shot to hell and now we all just sort of float around in the ocean and eat the little food left in the house. we are all dreading leaving the island as we have grown to love it before we even arrived. i look forward to being home and returning to the normal routine of buying dvds and seeing movies and such, but... damn. i sure could spend a hell of a lot of time out here just sitting on my ass. it's positively splendid. we did see kilauhea light house the other day. that was really something. all big on this cliff and jesus, there were all sorts of birds everywhere. albatrosses and red-footed boobies and what have you. really large birds and then this goose was sort of hobbling around pecking at grass. then, as you enter and exit, there is all this dirt about the sides of the path where these birds make holes and make their babies sit in them to sheild them from the winds (which were very strong). the little baby birds were so cute and fat, all gray and fluffy balled up in this little red dirt hole. oooohh i just wanted to stuff them into a pillow and squeeeeze!

speaking of squeezing, jack black on snl last night was great. he is a lovely man! he smacks everyone around and yet he is still the hippest youngster on this side of the railroad tracks. or something.

there is no one online and i grow sleepy...

october the third
(insert time here)
day five

today was "eat a shitload of fatty food and sit around on your ass while dad vomits" day. yeah, dad got a little ill but it seemed to have passed alright. poor dad. he was so happy when that dolphin jumped out of the water.

the swell still hasn't calmed much and the rain gave way to sun only for a few hours before turning back to... well, clouds again. mom and i went in to town for a bit and got some shave ice, which was even more delicious than it was the first time i tried it. the rest of the day sort of dragged on but in the lovliest of ways. saw a great view near princeville overlooking a huge mountain with all these big ol' waterfalls streaming down it. quite a sight.

roy got mauled by a tiger today. horrible and all that but i can't help but laugh every time i hear about it. you know the tiger was planning it, too. it was like... his revenge for all the humiliation tiger-kind has gone through all these years. sorry roy, but dangerous animals and sequins don't mix. you took that risk when you decided to make it your career.

sketchbook pages are still wiggly and very annoying. i'm scared to open the book now for fear the pages will get wigglier. the inside of my right ear won't stop itching and i just looked down and noticed that my pants are unzipped, revealing the word "lucky" along the exposed under-the-zipper jean. lucky? what the fuck? congratulations, you managed to get my pants unzipped. isn't that LUCKY? maybe it's implying i'm lucky enough to have them unzipped and whoever unzipped them is still there to read the message. or maybe i'm searching way too hard for the meaning in something like that. shut up. me tired.

there are lizards everywhere around here. lizards and dogs and the weirdest fuckin' bugs i think i'll ever see in my life. i felt all bloaty and lethargic all day and i still can't stop eating macadamia nuts. i'm in trouble...

10 something, 2003
sometime somewhere
end of day four

today was "eat a shitload of fatty food and sit around on your ass while being bored out of your mind" day.

that was basically it. mike and i walked around in circles making noises and i ate too many macadamia nuts to count. watched secret of nimh twice. i like it much. it won't stop raining, so there is no going outside or anything. however, i did get to hold a gecko. that was neat. they're kinda clear. my eyeballs really itch.

much to my dismay, i keep discovering these horrid mosquito bites scattered all about my legs and they itch like a bitch. also, my sketchbook's pages are all wiggly because of the humidity and i don't think there's any way to fix it. this makes me sad and all frustratey because i'm not very fond of wiggly pages. grrrrrrrrrrrr.

the new season of the man show is very funny. anything/one who makes fun of dr phil is a-ok in my book.

10/3/03
i don't even know what time it is anymore
the account of day three

well, i just wrote out this huge fuckin' post about day three and i went to publish it. then i thought, wait, let me not publish it yet and copy it just in case it doesn't work and i lose it. then, BOOP! the whole thing gone. erin scream and yell profane words a lot and be very pissed off. grrr.

so let me try this again.

yesterday was the official day of "driving around for three hours looking for a place to do beachy activities only to discover nothing" day. a big swell appeared on the north shore (where we are) recently and it makes the water very choppy. to the south shore! we said. so we set off to the south shore for FUN. we drove and drove, seeing about half a dozen pleasant looking beaches on the way but due to both my insistance and dad's, we kept going towards poi'pu, which is apparently impervious to swells or something. we were wrong. the water there looked like it could literally kill you. noo! we drive down there for nothing. but wait... spouting horn! a natural wonder where water spouts forty feet in the air every few seconds. there it is! let's go! alright, there it is. wait for it....

....

... was that it? no. wait again. waaaaaait....

..........

... three feet?? seriously, the water jettisoned maybe about three feet in the air and made a low rumbly noise. wowwwww. incredible. it was having a bad day, i guess. although ever time a drop came out of the thing, the gaggle of japanese folk surrounding us would go, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!" and start shooting photos. boo. we head home. but on the way, we get shave ice. now, no one seems to appreciate this stuff as much as i do, but it is deeeeelishus. mine looked like some sort of iced rainbow clown afro until it melted into a puddle of green-brown with chunks of strawberry ice cream floating around in it. yum!

upon returning to house, mike, taylor and i snorkeled a little ways down the beach. it was alright but there was quite a current and the water was a little brown. but still, so many fishies! then we bobbed around in the water for awhile talking, when we saw this guy in a turquoise speedo. a speedo isn't good under any circumstance, but this one was particularly bad. then, his wife comes running towards him from behind us. with a white THONG. her fat jiggled hypnotically in all directions with every bound. mike and i then decided to head back. it had been a long day. so ended the bout with mistress thong and speedor.

i had a strange dream the other night where a few people had built these robot-monster-humans who wielded incredible amounts of power. if the creator of the robo-thing died, it would become much more powerful and difficult to control. also immortal. the only way to get rid of one was by taking it apart with an axe and a special ritual or something. somehow, i was one of the monsters and this village voted to destroy me. i remember being backed against the wall, thinking, "this will be the first time i ever experience death". i was all scared but the guy with the axe was assuring me that as a good being and soul, i was assured a place in heaven. for some reason i believed him and that made me feel a lot better. then my dream switched over to me in my house with a t-rex and two raptors. what the fuck? i guess that's what i get for watching jurassic park.

raining a lot today and doesn't look like it'll let up. i think the macadamia nuts were hidden from me. froot loops aren't very good.

now let's see if the post button works this time...

10/1/03
eight nineteen pee-em
day two (end of)

well, obviously we discovered a hidden aol installer on the computer so now i think instead of actually WRITING my diary down (which was seeming pretty nice while i was doing it) i'll take the lazy way out and jot everything down this way. woop.

woke up this morning feelin fresh and frisky. i slept for about twelve hours, which is a record for this year i think. i vaguely remember dad yanking me out of bed at all hours of the night to witness the most spectacular starry sky. however, in my drowsy state i could hardly appreciate it. i grumpily pushed him away and fell back into bed. i dreamt that brendan frasier was my boyfriend and seann william scott was really perverted and trying to get me to strip for him. ew ew ew ew and a thousand times ew to all of that.

so i got up and ate half a box of froot loops and looked around at the SPLENDID MORNIN' around me. it was early. like, six or something. and i felt so awake. so time change CAN be a good thing. after rummaging around in my bag i discovered that i FORGOT MY ERASER. doi. we all went on a wild eraser hunt which was only sort of a pain since i'm a pissy bitch who will only let SANFORD MAGIC RUB touch my art. nothing less! put down that horrid half-pencil half-pen eraser in that grocery store, mother! what sort of disgusting amateur do you take me for!?? TO PRINCEVILLE, I MUST HAVE MAGIC RUB AND MAGIC RUB ONLY and then everyone got mad at me. a camera was purchased and i am taking pictures of EVERYTHING, even the gravel in the driveway (that was actually an accident) so i should have a pretty nice account of everything when i get back. i also ate a bunch of macadamia nuts.

we rented some snorkel gear and headed to ke e beach to see fishies. i am positive i looked like a bloody fool fumbling around in the water all pale and tripping over my flippers with a pair of goggles half on and a snorkel hitting my nose, but that's okay. once i got in i screamed when i saw the fish. jesus, they big!! big ol' fishies swimmin' around in PACKS!! i ran!! they were scary at first. there was this creepy brown reef all around and the closet i got to it, the more fish there were. fish fish fish all over the place, all these wild colors. fantastic! i was all OOOO, fish and then one opened its mouth and had a couple of HUGE FUCKING TEETH. gah!! run from fish!! it bite!! it eat my leeegggsss!! but no. i think it was just yawning. do fish yawn? i have no idea.

the waves were making me bob up and down and getting me a little seasick so i got out and started walking down the beach. there were chickens everywhere. big fat chickens just sort of rambling along the beach and the jungle. what the fuck? do chickens grow in the jungle? i swear to god, i've only been here about a day and everything is a mystery to me. so i kept walking down the beach and soon i reach this river where this young guy is fishing. i say hi to him to be friendly and keep walking. after awhile i turn back around and start walking across the river when the guy calls out to me. he asks me my name, where i'm from, who i'm with... and if it's urgent for me to get back to ke e. he wants to hang out, he says. now, i'm already lost enough in this strange land of wildebeetles and free-roaming gigantochickens. but this guy hitting on me?? i really must be somewhere in another galaxy. i felt sort of bad leaving him there because he told me to come back if i could, but i have to keep in mind that nothing makes any fucking sense here so it was probably a really good idea that i didn't go back. for all i know that guy could have been oprah's evil twin in disguise or something. stranger things have happened. after all, this is the land of the YAWNING FISH.

we came back and ate and sort of sat around for awhile. i took another walk down the beach outside and ate tofu. i drank lots of hard lemonade and beer and wine throughout the course of the day but i don't think i can handle the alchohol that isn't masked by some girly happy taste. i only had half a bottle of beer and thought i was going to gag by the last sip. blegh. but mike and i found a little garden in the yard with fresh oregano which tastes really awesome. as the sun started setting, geckos started popping up on the ceiling of the decks and then these two dogs came barreling into our yard all friendly-like and wanting to play. the geckos are really cute and i want to be their queen. i named one geico and the other wheezy.

i just went out to check the sky for AMAZING SPUNKTACULAMONGOUS STAR DISPLAY EXTRAORDINARE and i see... nothing. NOTHING!! there are no stars and everything is completely black!!!! NO SENSE MAKING ANY OF IT!!!!!! ARRGHHH!!!.. but it's so great here.

tomorrow i think we are going to snorkel at someplace called "tunnels" and then we might eat something. we have to get up early for that so i better get to bed. i'm exhausted anyhow...

... jesus, it's not even nine.

for the convenience of the non-existent audience who is reading this, i am posting my hand-written diary of my excursion to the hawaiian islands on here. entries might be posted anywhere from ten to five weeks late, so... make a note of it.

9/30/03
6 something am
day 1 (technically day two, but a recording of the activities from the day before)

i didn't write yesterday because after all the day's activities, i was thoroughly exhausted. anyway, we made it here and it is absolutely incredible. it was magical from the very beginning as we took our SPACE THEMED LIMO to the airport where we booked FIRST CLASS FLIGHTS. getting through airport security wasn't the nightmare i imagined it being and, despite my worst and most certain fears, i was not stripped of all civil liberties and taken to some room to be interrogated about my supposed involvement with terrorsm. yay. so the flight was a cushy and pampered five hours and i consumed a delightful chicken dish along with all the food leftover from the family. glancing out the window of the plane, i realized... the ocean is big. huge, even. i don't think one realizes it until they spend a pretty decent chunk of the day flying over a massive plate of blue. amazing. but we made it alive and in a flurry of events we were getting on a flight to kaua'i three hours before when we were scheduled.

as we drove around in our gray ford explorer, i was lookin' outside and was all, "hey! this looks like... a place". that was until we went through this crazy dimensional portal and started driving down twisty roads the width of my pinky through towering vegetation (most of which looked like it could eat me). only without the portal. kaua'i is truly something incredible and every little thing is bloated with such amounts of beauty that it makes you fall to your knees and weep.

the house we're staying in is roomy and has all luxuries, including a HU-FUCKING-MONGOUS tv and sound system. i think that fairly soon the entire island will hear "my anus is bleeding" as if it were playing in the room next to them. hooray!

behind the house, there is this little pathway that leads to the beach. i walked up it and suddenly this flash of bright yellow-orange appeared. it was the sand. the cleanest, most spectacular sand ever. it looks like toasted sesame seeds. my feet sank about six inches every step into the stuff, until it insantly becomes finer (on some parts of the beach) and literally feels like velvet underneath your feet. the water is this wonderful green-blue gemstone color and it is warm, boy howdy. lots of little tidepools with fishes and crabs scatter the place. i walked pretty far down the beach, finding a sand bar and a multitude of interesting looking dead coral and shells. everything looks like it's from another planet out here.

my hand is starting to hurt since i was planning to put all of this in my online journal, but dad forgot aol so there be no internet for us! i met a woman from santa barbara too and there are crazy bugs all over the place. apparently, geckos come out at night so i'll have to see about that. i believe we are going snorkeling today, too.

mahalo (the word i heard about a thousand times yesterday)
e

well, i thought that today i would go home and weep being that it was the last day of the animation show and there was no way i'd ever see it again. at that moment, with a rush of unholy fire came evaun, telling me during fifth period that "the animation show is playing at uci!" i didn't believe him but after checking he was RIGHT. IT WAS. so i decided to forget about all educational obligations and venture forth to see the beauty of the animation show...

TWICE. BACK TO BACK.

it was like a trip to some freakish dreamland. i saw it with david and then saw it with stweve right after. the second crowd was the best ever as everyone in the audience laughed uncontrollably at everything. it made me so happy and i had about a thousand comments on my snappy new rejected t-shirt, which was deflowered at the show. oh, happy day!

i have to do a shitload of current events and study for marine ecology now.

fifth period and i'm feelin' frisky!

actually, my feet really hurt.

i just remembered this dream i had last night where i spontaneously decided to get all these tattoos all over me. i was a little afraid of doing it but i didn't really care, and when it was all done i felt this amazing sense of having something new about myself. it was a good feeling. i had like, two simpsons tattoos, one of which was like, homer as a skeleton vampire or something. i had two tattoos on my lower back and some on my arms. i can't really remember what the others were... i think just designs. getting the tattoos didn't hurt at all, and i bragged about how i was immune to pain. OH!!!!!! i just remembered what one of the other tattoos was!! it was like, this space lady in a lab coat above three playing cards. i don't know why the hell i got that but i did. and i remember sitting at the dinner table with long sleeves, trying to cover up the tattoos and figuring out what i would say to my parents if or when they noticed. i was scared because the playing cards and space lab coat lady was implying las vegas somehow, which equaled SLEAZE in the dream. finally, my dad asked about the tattoo because i guess he knew. i showed him and i was all scared, but he said it was cool. although it was in the tone he uses when he doesn't approve of something but respects it. then my mom liked it, too. i got so excited since they didn't freak out and i decided to go out THAT NIGHT and get more tattoos. i was gonna get the fluffy thing from rejected somewhere. and then i got all worried about running out of places on my body to put tattoos.

i wonder if i'll ever seriously get a tattoo.

it seems like it would be really neat, but... god, i dunno. i suppose that if i ever got sick of whatever i'd get, i'd just convince myself i was born with this really crazy birthmark and had no way of getting rid of it. i wonder what the amazing lure of the tattoo is... i mean, the best thing is when someone gets a tattoo that actually means something. like a family symbol or a memorial for a dead friend, somewhere along those lines. then i'd imagine you'd never get sick of it, because it's significant of someone or something. now that's cool.

the music for the scene in 28 days later where jim runs through the house killing everyone just came on my ipod. it is goooooood.

wicky wicky yo!

so it's getting late and i haven't gotten much in the way of homework finished. erk. i dunno what i'm gonna do.

my rejected shirt came! GLEE!! it is seriously the most adorable shirt ever. my only dilemma is to wear it tomorrow, or to wait until friday when i would surely go out after school and be seen in large public places with it... hmmm.... the latter sounds tempting.

i'm watching the "mondobot/giant" episode of samurai jack and it's so gorgeous. genndy tartakovsky must be migty proud of himself for all the stuff he do. i know that if i made samurai jack, i'd be a total pompous asshole. i mean, i'd have every right to be.

i better get some of this english stuff done, now.

oot.

back in fifth period again with nothing much to do. i'd just like to write something before i have to go how and do all the homework in the world in one night. going on trips is great but i forgot about the massive work load that comes with it. boooohhh.

everyone is asking for my help with photoshop and while i don't mind it at all, my technology-filled brain cannot fathom how someone wouldn't know how to expand a window or use the erase tool. gads!

today i was walking outside of my art class where there is a heaping pile of construction going on to the former english wing. and as i walked past and saw the insides of the mostly demolished buildings, i thought about how crazy it is that in a few months, that won't be there. it's like... i spent three years of my life going to classes in those buildings, and now they're being erased from existence right before my eyes. the part that seemed the craziest to me was the fact that the only way these buildings will continue to exist is in my mind. solid establishments that have been there for decades will now only exist within my memories. so... if i forget all about that building someday, does it truly cease to exist? i dunno, my words aren't coming out right, but ya know what i mean? philosophical!

god, my head hurts. i've been having some serious headaches lately and i'm not sure why. i've been making a deliberate attempt to eat healthier and i don't think my body likes it much. when i look up at the computer screen i feel like i'm straining my eyes and it is painy!! i hate it!! i have been taking way too many excedrin quick tabs. the caffeine will surely kill me someday.

work later. i don't know how well i'll handle it after having a whole TWO DAYS off. i get real lazy after about a half hour.

errrgh. now i'm dizzy. i go now.

so i wrote this BYOOOOOOOOOOTIFUL entry about a week ago and mailed it to myself because the publish button on this blog updatey thing didn't seem to be working. i tried again at home but still no work. i check my mail today and EVERYTHING GONE, including invoice for rejected shirt! i weep like never before.

i saw the animation show this weekend and it inspired me so crazy-like that i started trying to animate. i think the show was exactly what i needed to get off my ass and really start to focus on my art again. i'm even picking up on my main project after a long stretch of... not working on it. so this makes me glad. i bought the extremely goofy movie today and the beatnik chick in it makes me smiiiiiile!!

i also went to the red bull flügtag on saturday. now, if you don't know what the flügtag is, you must look it up on this "internet" thingy and find pictures. basically, the premise is to build a gigantic and ideally silly looking craft meant to fly. then you take it and dance around it for awhile in front of a hundred thousand people and then you push it off a thirty-foot ramp and see how far it goes before it crashes into the ocean. it is probably the best thing man ever did. so i went with jason, stweve, andrea, katie, and devon. we got there real early and ate at this place where it was fifteen dollars for a waffle. ridiculous! after that we strutted over to the beach to witness everyone's flight attempts, but not before i went on a wild treasure hunt for tampons. suspense! but i found them. anyway, we went to the beach and there was a literal ass load of people on it. they were EVERYWHERE. so i'm all trying to find a spot for all of us to sit but the only thing we can manage is a space behind a bunch of people in beach chairs, making it so we can see absolutely nothing where everything was happening. i started whining. a lot. i didn't come all the way out to santa monica just to stand around for five hours. jason got pissy at me and then stweve and i went to get food. it took a really long time and we paid five dollars for a shitty grilled cheese only to discover there was a taco bell express ten feet away. i could have had a shitty taco for TWO dollars!! boo. so stweve and i took about an hour to get our food and then headed back down to the beach. we missed the teenage mutant ninja turtles plane and stweve was very sad. when we got back down to the beach, to our AMAZING AMAZEMENT... everyone was gone. we were looking around, all like, "what the fuck? where are they?" when i get a call on my cell phone. it was andrea. she go, "we're over it and we're leaving". i couldn't believe it. two or three weeks of building up to this goddamn event and an hour later (it was an HOUR) more than half the group decides to leave. for what, i don't know. but they just up and left. and it made me ANGRY!! so i ate a guy. thank god stweve was there because we stayed and watched DANNY BONADUCE JUMP INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN WITH SOME HOOTERS GIRLS ONLY TO HAVE HIS UNDERWEAR RIPPED FROM HIS PRIVATES IN THE BRIMEY DEEP SO WHEN I LOOKED AT ONE OF THE BIG SCREENS THEY HAD PLANTED ON THE BEACH ALL I COULD SEE WAS A FORMER PARTRIDGE FAMILY MEMBER'S BIG WHITE ASS!!!! it was such a spectacle. aside from that momentary horror, the rest of the planes were real neat. there was one that looked like a parliament (p-funk) spaceship. there was one that looked like a squirrel. there was one that looked like cheese. there was one that looked like a giant shoe with wings. there was one that was a guy in a soccer ball and a human-propelled foot kicked him off the pier. good lord i had no idea humans could be so creative. it was awesome!! i had so much caffeine my heart was gonna splode.

then stweve and i shipped off to LA to see the animation show in all its wonderous glory. and how! (heehee.) while getting lost several times trying to find the theater, we noticed some really huge, nice pretty animation show posters (aptly featuring fluffy thing of anus bleeding fame) all over the walls on the street. we parked the car and got out and ripped some down. then we went to burger king. then we went to juice it up. then we tried to find a comic shop but got lost again, so basically just drove around singing bohemian rhapsody at the top of our lungs. we got to the theater and my bowels felt as though they were going to burst in a marvelous show of flying bodily excrement. i'm glad it did not do that, though. it might have been messy. anyway. i was so excited to be there. however, there were twelve other people in the theater, ten of which REFUSED TO SMILE. they just did not find anything good about don's stuff which is a real shame because he is like an amazing person and all. his new stuff was so great i wanted to dance around the theater. but not just don's stuff was good, though. everything was good. really good. even the ones i didn't like all that much ended up being good somehow. my favorites were (apart from rejected, don's other stuff and mars and beyond, which are all in their own category of spectacularity) strange invaders, fifty percent gray, and das rad. i got really worried when strange invaders started up because it was canadian. canadians are great and all, but their animation makes me sick to my stomach in a real weird way. however, the short was stupendous and i loved everything about it. fifty percent gray was just flat out cool. what i liked about it is that the character in it was human, but didn't try to be TOO realistic as opposed to cathedral, which featured a guy who was realistic but moved around sort of stiffly. meh. vincent played (woo!) and so did billy's balloon (woooo!) and there was this creepy aardman short called "ident", which was still VERY shpiffy. das rad was fucking great, though. it really was. i don't know why "chubb chubbs" won the oscar over it but it really deserved to win. such a neat concept. plus i loved the noise the rocks made when they clanked around. why are people so stupid?? das rad kicked all the ass. since i was in a theater with a bunch of half-dead people, rejected was somewhat uncomfortable. the only thing piercing the silence was me and stweve's obnoxiously loud laughter. but that didn't make it any less than the best thing the world has ever seen. then we applauded it when it doned. it was one of the best experiences of my life to see don's stuff on a big screen and i'm so inspired i just want to draw and draw and draw until i fall asleep and/or die. yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! saturday was a good day.

i am really geared up for hawaii, which is less than a week from now. i bought a new sketchbook for it and everything. i look forward to the artistic inspiration even though i hate drawing palm trees and beaches. myaagh.

this must be the longest entry ever. go me! i have all these pictures i want to post up here of flügtag, rejected, some underwear i saw lying on the street, my art teacher, etc but my computer is on the verge of death and i'm just trying to back everything up before it go KAPOOOOOT. don't die, baby!! don't die!

i should be working on a collage for government right now but GOD i sure don't feel like it. i'm gonna make it in art tomorrow. it's gonna be a picture of arnold eating a california made out of other governor candidates.

did you know that you can't lick your own elbow?

Satsuka is a Giant Mecha-Squid that CANNOT BE STOPPED, is Covered in Spines, Fears Nothing, shoots Laser Beams, and rides around in a Metal Tripod. Strength: 11 Agility: 7 Intelligence: 14 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Satsuka, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Satsuka using Strength Agility Intelligence

Now, see, who would have guessed that I'm a giant squid? A ROBOTIC squid?? I mean, besides the tentacles and the spines and all that. Oh my god, I am kicking so much ass it isn't even funny. How many giant squids can say they shoot LASERS? And I sure as shit don't know anyone else (let alone giant mecha fearless spine laser squids) who have a metal tripod to ride on.

Aww yeah. I rock.

Anyway, so I'm in period five block period computer art right now with nothing to do but sit here with nothing to do as I try not to fall asleep right here at the desk. Oooh golly I'm tired. But everything else is pretty good. I have work this afternoon and I'm not really looking forward to it because work... kinda blows.

I'm very excited because tomorrow I'm-a goin' emo hunting at urban outfitters. With a net and a tazer and some morphine. I'm aimin' to bag me one and it's gonna be a pretty one, too. Stweve's going with me. I'm gonna get him a pair of jeans.

I give you... my dog.

I just loaded some more pictures off of my phone...











Is anyone else noticing a pattern?

Ladies and gentlemen... I give you Joanna.





Joanna, ladies and gentlemen.

Why the hell does everyone assign so much homework when there's a little thing called sleep? Rawr.

Bought the Blue Submarine No. 6 Special Edition DVD today. It so pwetty. Then Stweve and I had a retard party in my bathroom. Here are the results...








Lovely, frightening, and erotic. Yes, I know. Stweve is playing the role of Harry Carey, by the way. God bless you, Will Ferrel. My hair is courtesy of my little sister.

I'm going to try to post in my journal a lot more often even though no one really reads it. I promise.

My tip of the day to everyone: Download "Ray of Sunshine" by Wham!. I've been listening to it all day and I do believe I like it.

And now I give you... CUTE EMO BOY!!

I just danced around my room to Nikki Cleary's rendition of "Walking on Sunshine" and various Justin Timberlake and S Club 7 songs for a whole forty minutes. I ought to do that sort of thing more often.

Although short on funds, I decided to "fuck it all to hell" and buy the Futurama season one box set. After watching only half an episode, I almost cried because I forgot how much I love that show. And because I love to brag about stupid crap, I decided to see if I could dig up the only moment of glory I've ever had. GET READY, KIDDIES!! HERE COMES A HEAPING PILE OF FLAMING GLORIOUS SHIT!! STRAIGHT FOR YOUR FACE!!

Question Satsuka: Do you plan on merchandising "Futurama"? I want action figures!!!
Matt_G There are many merchandising plans in the works, but sadly, no action figures.
Matt_G No. . . for you, we'll do action figures.
Matt_G (Smile)

That was from a live chat with Matt Groening the day Futurama premiered, I think. I was so happy I just about peed myself silly. So now everyone has me to thank for Futurama action figures.

today's diet: chocolate, peanut butter/white chocolate, caramel apple, cashews, honey roasted cashews, giant ham sandwich, butter, a slice of cheese, a frozen banana.

I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE.

i am going to die before i reach my twenties.

you know what amazes me sometimes? the fact that a movie like "junior" ever got the greenlight. i just can't help but imagine a bunch of guys in a room pitching movies at each other, and one of them goes, "hey... let's make a movie where a MAN gives BIRTH!!" everything goes silent before a wave of benevolent praise cascades throughout the room. then, suddenly, one of them shouts, "better yet, let's make it ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER giving birth!!" and then, a cry of "and let's put danny devito in it, too!" rises from the creative turmoil. "women will love it! they'll feel like they can finally connect that gap between themselves and men!" they shout. "and guys will love it because arnold is MANLY!" oh yes. everyone will love it. because everyone really wanted to think about a pregnant arnold schwarzenegger. that's exactly the thought that needs to be planted in the minds of millions for decades to come.

and then, in the months following, money is spent on this project and it is made. and not once... NOT ONCE does the thought "wow, this movie is really god awful. maybe we should just stop" cross anyone's mind. no. they just kept going. spending more and more money and then ADVERTISING IT before finally unleashing it, traumatizing people like me for years. i saw half that movie when i was around eight and i still haven't forgotten it.

the world can be such a baffling place.

i gave birth to the word "faggort" tonight. i am proud.

my bed is infested with ants and i can't figure out where they're coming from. do they just materialize and bite me? little fuckers. i'll squish them all with my massive ass while i sleep.

i am becoming more and more broke but i somehow must muster (must muster..?) enough money to pay for radiohead and aquabats tickets. and potentially white stripes but let's face it, i can't afford anything more than two dollars anymore. unless it's the cats don't dance dvd... in which case, i buy away!

i ate a caplico stick the size of my arm and so many muscat gummies that i rolled around moaning for awhile (but by no means in a hot or sexy way, mind you) and then i sat down and realized i could grab my stomach WITH MY HANDS AND HOLD IT. oh my god i hate my life. send me hate mail and make me go to the gym, or at least stop me from eating kraft macaroni and cheese. it's getting way out of hand.

maybe i could join the orange county fair as the new premier attraction; "the amazing and terrifying fat albino with parkinson's disease, an enormous head, a bottomless pit for a stomach and body hair like a yeti". people will walk for miles just to witness my horror.

... i just realized that because of the previous two sentences, no one will ever love me again.

sniff. i am especially whiny tonight for someone who has eaten nothing but japanese snackfood and tacos all day. but i guess that's my problem.

senior pictures tomorrow! woopee. i can hardly wait...

LOVE TEEN TITANS.

LOVE IT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER LOVED ANYTHING BEFORE.

AND THEN NEVER LOVE ANYTHING ELSE EVER AGAIN.

HOLY SHIT.

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

HOLY JESUS FUCKING SHIT.


....


... i... i love teen titans.

pps... if anybody talk bad bout the dirty south...

what you gonna do?

act a fool.

ps... guys aren't as bad as i thought they were.

life is surprisingly good! i'm drawing a lot and having a lot of fun not having to worry much about anything. ees niiice.

i want to grow up to be ludacris. if i could rap like that man, i would be unstoppable. but i figure... nothing's impossible. so why the hell not? why can't i be like luda? i mean, besides the fact that i'm white like death. but maybe i'll wake up one day and i'll be black. i can only hope.

tell me what you gonna do?

act a fool.

good god radiohead makes my head better. the new cd is all sorts of fantasmical good and i am quite pleased with it. tom yorke is a lovely man who only blinks one eye, and i love him for it.

my faith in humanity has been somewhat restored because today, my wallet was found after i thought it had been stolen at SAT testing at a local, very "ghetto" school. twenty dollars still in it!! woo!

hold on, i need to go to the bathroom.

okay, i'm back.

i hate blogs because i can never really write what i want to write in them, you know? cuz someone will see it. therefore i must be vague when i need to complain about something to myself here and it never quite leaves me satisfied. oh well. here i go anyway.

i hate boys. men. guys. hairy smell monsters with flesh logs protruding from their nether regions. you decide what to call them. either way i hate them all. you hear that? all you out there can die except for you and... oh, i guess you. best the rest of you can suck it. or at least let me know what is so horribly wrong with me.

grr.

my head is seized by some sort of misery-inducing pressure in my sinuses and it's driving me a little crazy. this entry is especially whiney. sorry.

Never in my wildest fantasies would I have ever seen myself hanging on the edge of my seat at the movies, huddled in agonizingly wonderful anticipation with tears in my eyes and a stupid grin on my face as I think to myself...

"Ooooh, that is one bad ass motherfuckin' fish right there."

Finding Nemo was beyond phenomenal. I mean, I have always been a huge fan of Pixar. But nothing... NOTHING... could prepare me for the next installment in a series of non-stop ass kicking the beautiful, wonderful, gloriously god-like people of Pixar animation have churned out. I don't know how they do it. I don't know what sort of divine world these people come from. But they are geniuses, all of them. I want to walk up to their studio with nothing on but a toga made out of an old stained bedsheet, and then fall to my knees at the door and kiss the holy ground. Pixar studios is my goddamned Mecca. It is the holiest of lands. Fuck Palestine. The world should be waging war over that small chunk of establishment where animation marvels are made. However it would be a silly war, fought with nerf guns and those stretchy sticky hand thingies that you fling out and hit people with, and they usually come in those little eggs in those vending machines at the super market. Pixar, thank you. I had the crappiest day today and Finding Nemo made me so happy to be alive. Thank you so much. I love you.

I wanted to run out of the theater screaming and crying in pure bliss when I saw the trailer for The Incredibles. I can't even say how excited I am. I'm scared. I'm SCARED of it. I can't imagine anything better than what I've seen from these people and yet I know it's coming. It's terrifying but the best thing ever at the same time. I love you, Pixar. I love you more than pie.

... which is saying a lot.

Prom is tomorrow. Wonder how that'll go...

oh my GOD. so like, i haven't updated this thing in years.

so much has been happening that i'm not even going to start reciting every interesting bit of information that has happened to me in the past few months. it's not worth the time. or the pain in my nubby fingers.

i can tell a funny story, though. a pigeon came into my work and then started flying into the window because it was freaking out. i was freaking out, too, because i'm sitting there with a broom in hand and stephanie laughing her ass off and calling me stupid for letting the thing in. then, some guy came in and asked for some towels, grabbed the pigeon, and let it out. then he knocked over an ENTIRE TRAY of peanut apples and walked out. i was like, dude, jesus. but i couldn't charge him because he DID get rid of pigeon nightmare what came from heck.

... have i even mentioned on this thing that i got a job? well, whether i did or didn't, i got a job at the rocky mountain chocolate factory downtown. i got it back in like, february. i'm too lazy to look up when i last updated this blog thingy.

i'm working on a new site layout. trying to, at least. i seem to have lost my ability to draw. i'm so sorry. i'm a worthless sack of flesh.

instead of doing homework and writing shitty essays and whatnot, i keep making things like this.

i'm scared of what i've become.

rock your body, justin timberlake.

Spent the entire day wandering a portion of the planet with nothing but my ZIM bag, my iPod, a pair of headphones, and a dream. I'm trying to get a job, which is... interesting. Let's all hope for the best, hmm?

I love going places on my own. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to go places with my friends (I have a blast), but it's also very liberating to just go out into the world and observe it. It gives me time to think. I just feel so... independent.

I saw Adaptation. It was GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD BOY HOWDY!! I loved it some. Very clever and funny and allll sorts of nice things. Then I saw a calendar with bunnies on it.

187 DAYS UNTIL THE COMIC CON!!! I got a postcard in the mail. Woobee!!

And then I ate a crepe.

FRANCE!!!

HAPPY NOO YERR!!

Haven't been posting much lately, although not too much besides eating, sleeping, movie watching, and grappling with injustice happened.

Part of me is now at peace because after long years of searching, I have found a group of nerds to play "Magic the Gathering" with. I was hanging out with some friends, it was all nice and good, we decide to go over another friend's house... and BOOM!! There was a nerd Magic card orgy going on. Being one of the only two and a half females on the planet that like the game, I was very excited.

Thusly, I spent my New Years hunched around a table battling ten other people. All male. I quickly merged into a comfortable social zone by handing out postcards featuring provocative half-naked Calvin Klein underwear models. I already fit in. The boys then gave them captions which made me laugh for a good long time, so I recreated them below.





And there you have it. However, through strenuous hours of experimentation, it was found that, when combined, the sultry models form something along the lines of this:



Frightening, isn't it?

I was going to write more but my head is seized by some of the most horrible allergies I've ever known. I want to be shot.